Wedded Bliss?
by Typhonis
Summary: Sailor MoonRanma 12 crossover.Nodoka made a deal with her old friend and the time to unite there families has come.
1. Chapter 1

Wedded Bliss?

Chapter 1

Here comes the bride

* * *

I do not own Ranma ½ or Sailor Moon. This fic is written for fun.

* * *

Nodoka Saotome approached the apartment door with a spring to her step. Finally, after all of these years, she would be able to help her old friend's daughter .It had hurt her to see what the poor girl had gone through after her parents' death and not be able to fully help her like she had wanted too. But today, that would change. Today, that which she and Mariko had planned would finally bear fruit. She was so giddy she could hardly wait to tell her the good news.

Makoto Kino was busy doing her homework when the doorbell rang. That puzzled her. If it was one of the Senshi they would've contacted her first. Unless it was Setsuna, she would just teleport in and tell her what was going on.

She carefully stood up and stretched before going to the door. She looked through the peephole and saw it was Auntie Nodoka, as the woman asked her to call her. She opened the door with a smile for the woman who had done her best to help her over the years. She bowed to her "Please, Auntie, come into my home. I'll go get you some tea."

Nodoka returned the bow and walked in."You may no longer call me Auntie, dear"

Makoto missed a step when she heard that. She turned to face the older woman a little bit of fear creeped into her voice as she spoke. "Wh…wh…what? Why not?"

Nodoka beamed at her then she handed the lonely Senshi a package. Opening it she saw several formal looking documents and such. Looking them over she was shocked to find a marriage certificate with her name on it and someone else's name. Reading it her heart skipped a beat when she saw whose name it was.

She looked up at a smiling Nodoka, who nodded to her. "Yes, dear, from now on you may call me Mother."

"Alright, Auntie, which of my friends put you up to this?"

Nodoka smiled at her. "This is all quite legitimate, dear. Your mother and I did this.We thought that something terrible may happen to her and leave you all alone. So I arranged a marriage for you with my son Ranma. It was to take effect after you both turned 16. This is why I had some legal trouble adopting you; it was an outstanding contract being upheld by both clans."

Makoto's eyes rolled back and she collapsed into a faint. Nodoka giggled and approached her. "Poor child, too much information I guess. I do wonder how she'll react to actually meeting my manly son?"

A beeping noise came from one of her pockets. Nodoka reached in and pulled out a stylish cell-phone. She flipped it open and a girl with blond hair, in a funny style appeared on the screen.

"Mako-chan we'll be over in an hour for study buddies and… Wait, you aren't Mako-chan? Who are you and where is she?"

"I am Nodoka Saotome and I am her mother in law. Bring your friends on over, child and I will explain what is happening."

* * *

Makoto slowly woke up. She looked around the room to see Usagi was eating some pocky, Minako and Ami were looking over a text book, and Rei was talking to Chibi Usa. She looked around her apartment and sighed. _Guess it was all a dream, oh well._

She slowly got up and Rei walked over to her. "How are you feeling, Makoto?"

She sighed. "Okay, I guess, just had a weird dream when I fell asleep."

She heard a very familiar voice spoke up from her kitchen. "What was the dream about, Mako-chan? Dreaming of your husband?"

Makoto stared at Nodoka as she walked in with a tray of cookies. Usagi squealed as she laid them down on the table appearing to teleport the short distance to them.

"These are soooo gooood," the Moon Princess said as she downed two in a single breath.

"Save some for me," Chibi-Usa said, beginning to show she truly was her mother's daughter in her eating habits.

Rei looked over at Nodoka, finally hoping to get some answers. They had been told by her that no one would learn anything else about the situation until Makoto was awake.. "How is it that Makoto and your son are now legally wed?"

"Simple really, Mariko and I agreed to have our children married. We were both from Demon hunter families and she was my best friend. So we decided to unite the families through marriage.

"We both knew that something could happen to us and that my husband was less than trustworthy so it was arranged, with a few provisions dealing with their inheritance so it couldn't be stolen or misused by either parent. It was to take effect when they both turned 16."

Minako nodded. "So, where is Ranma now?"

"In Nerima, all we have to do is go get him. It appears my louse of a husband forgot where we lived."

* * *

Makoto fidgeted nervously as her friends talked on inside of the limousine. A limousine had picked her and the others up at Nodoka's insistence, so she wouldn't ruin her formal kimono. They had stopped and picked up another friend from her house: a young, quiet, shy girl named Hotaru, and was now moving down the road to Nerima.

Makoto looked over at Nodoka and sighed. "Well Aun…Mother, what can you tell me about Ranma?"

Nodoka smiled. "He is very energetic, and active. He loves the art and practices everyday. Unfortunately or is that fortunately, guess it depends on your point of view, Ranma picked up a curse in China. With the application of cold water he turns into a girl. Warm water returns him to normal. So far there is no cure; but he has looked as hard as he could for one. Also, there are other girls after him, though I have not approved of them. I will deal with those details, Makoto, so all you need to do is concentrate on helping my son in school…perhaps one of your friends can also help?"

Makoto frowned at what she heard. Normally, she wouldn't be too upset with the curse, after all, the Sailor Starlights became female when they transformed. She figured she let that problem be until later when she had time to discuss it with him. But if he changed with cold water, he must have had to deal with a lot of problems because of it. "Has anyone helped him deal with this curse?"

"As far as I know, no one has. They merely treat him as a prize to be one. Looks like you win by default. If you truly wish to snag my son though instead of making him feel like he is obligated to be with you, here is some advice. Treat him as something no one else has: a friend; go gently and slowly let time take its course. My son has been in an abusive relationship this past year and needs time to heal. Help him heal and he will be yours." Nodoka winked at her after telling her that.

* * *

The limousine stopped outside of the Tendo Dojo and they all got out slowly. Makoto was wearing a formal kimono and walking slowly to the door, not wishing to damage it, but more due to her nervousness of meeting Ranma. Nodoka reached up and knocked.

A nice woman with a long ponytail answered it. "Oh, Auntie, hello. I see you brought some friends with you, please come in. May I ask what the occasion is?"

Kasumi led Nodoka and the Sailor Senshi to the dining room.

Nabiki was longing, watching TV as they walked in. She merely raised an eyebrow before going back to watching an American imported cartoon about a blue superhero that kept using the word spoon as his battle cry. She wasn't too worried, as if this was another fiancée, her supplies were easily accessed and the room had been wired for sound and video. If any money could be made, she didn't need to get up and do much.

"Yes, but first is Ranma here?"

"No, Auntie. He and Akane have yet to return from the store."

"What about Genma and Soun?"

"They have gone out to …meditate on the dojo's affairs."

"Fine, we do not need those two drunks here. They can find out later what is happening. As for whom these ladies are. This is Makoto Kino, Ranma's wife."

Kasumi stared at the brunette before remembering herself and bowing. "Oh please forgive me my manners. I…I was under the impression that Ranma was to marry Akane?"

_As was I._ Nabiki thought. She scooted closer so she could hear more while watching the TV as a cover. It seemed the moneymaking potential of this new woman would prove most interesting.

"That was an agreement that Genma made on his own accord, and the Saotome clan does not recognize it. He did not have the authority to make it or even enforce it. The deal with the Kino family was made by the heads of the clans and Genma was present to sign as a witness. He took off with Ranma for a summer training trip and I hadn't seen him till I found him here.

"The time has come for Ranma to return home. My home hasn't been finished yet, but Ranma will be living with his wife in the meantime until we can move everyone back into the house. My most sincere apologies for the inconvenience."

* * *

Akane glared at Ranma as they walked home from the store. Carrying the things Kasumi had asked for—well, Ranma was carrying all of the heavy stuff plus a bag of rice on his head, Akane took care of the delicate items.

She knew just knew that Ranma was cheating on her. Every time she saw Shampoo or Ukyo alone they would tell her that Ranma had just been there and there was the fact that they did hang off of him more often now so he had to be up to something. So she decided to punish her wayward fiancé and try to get him back on the straight and narrow. So far it hadn't worked and she had to replace her mallet due to wear and tear on it. _I will get this baka trained or I will kill him in the process._

Strange how she never saw anything wrong with that thought, but people had come to accept that she would never see herself as the problem.

Ranma looked at Akane, from the corner of his eye, with concern. The dark haired girl had been more violent lately and the fiancées had been more aggressive as well; specially after the wedding. He knew they were trying to drive Akane and himself apart but she wouldn't listen too him. She was taking the word of her enemies over what he was saying and their plan was working. He knew things were coming to a head and sooner or later he would make a choice. Kami help those that got in his way when he did that.

* * *

They arrived at the dojo and saw the limo parked outside. Ranma saw Akane starting to fume and didn't blame her. His idiot father had engaged him again only this time—to a rich family it seemed. He followed her into the dojo and set the items down in the kitchen. He saw his mother sitting beside a young woman wearing a formal kimono and looking a bit surprised as he walked into the house. _Definitely a new fiancée. Well, it was a somewhat tolerable life. Maybe they'll bury me someplace quiet._

Akane seethed at seeing this new girl. She was very pretty and looked like a martial artist as well. Why couldn't Ranma be faithful to her alone? This was nearly the last straw. One more detail and she would correct the pervert's actions.

Nodoka stood up as did the new girl. Her friends were staring at him and whispering. A blond girl, whose hair was running free, had eyes the size of saucers, while a blue haired girl who slightly resembled Akane, wiped the corner of her mouth. His mother then spoke and Ranma knew, just knew, that some Kami was laughing their tail off.

His thoughts turned dark for a moment. _I swear if I ever find the Kami who's doing this to me, and if they are doing this for some reason that I don't deserve, I'll hurt them so bad it will make what I did to Saffron seem like a love tap._

"Ranma allow me to present to you your wife, Makoto Saotome." Nodoka presented the girl before her son.

The brunette bowed formally to him, Ranma returned the gesture and she spoke to him first, finding her nervousness striking her voice. "He… Hello Ranma. I hope we have a long and loving relationship with each other I…I...am happy to finally m…meet you."

Ranma stared at her as the implications finally hit home with him. He turned to face Akane only to see a red Aura surround the girl. She was very visibly angry as her mallet appeared. "Ranma, you BASTARD!"

* * *

OMAKE:

Minako looked over at Ami puzzled for a second. She had been given a pamphlet by Nodoka and was reading over it, with interest.

Ami then started to comment on it. "Full health insurance, scholarship program, live in babysitter….a very nice deal."

Minako looked at Ami, "What's that pamphlet for?"

Ami handed it to her. The title was: "So you want to be Ranma's mistress!"

Minako stared at Ami in shock. "Why wasn't I given one of these?"

Ami blushed at that. "I think it's because Auntie Nodoka didn't want any ditzes in the family."

OMAKE 2:

Ranma: "Please, Makato, I'm not ready for that, please stop."

Makato: "But we're married!"

Ranma: "I know, but really, clipping your toenails in bed? Come on, we sleep here!"

* * *

Hello all you happy people. Now then I will be working on this story and Ultimatum on and off so dont worry about it.I will try to get these chapters out when I can .So forgive me if it isn't a pure flipping back and forth .

I want to thank Innortal for his help. Old Fool and Shadowbakasama for there comments as I wrote this over at Shinjis board And I want to thank all of the people who have reviewed Ultimtum ...yes a chapter is finished and will be poasted soon. So in the words of Stan Lee "Face forward true believers for it is coming.

Typhonis


	2. Chapter 2

Wedded Bliss ?

Chapter 2

I do not own Ranma ½ or Sailor Moon. This fic is written for fun.

* * *

Akane turned on Ranma and slammed him with her mallet. The unfortunate martial artist was thrown back out the open door and into the wall surrounding the property. He slid down it as Akane slowly walked towards him ready to deliver a second or even third blow as needed. She was pissed the damn pervert had gotten that girl pregnant. He had slept around on her and here was the proof. Why else would Auntie Nodoka declare her his wife?

Nodoka got up and ran after Akane. This was the last straw. She would not allow this girl to punish her son in this manner anymore. He was not a possession and shouldn't be treated as such. She reached Akane as she readied her mallet for a second strike.

Makoto stared in shock and quickly followed the women out the door. She hadn't even gotten a response from her husband before the blue haired girl had struck him. Yes, she was nervous and scared by everything that was happening; she was still a bit dazed at the news she was married and to a stranger no less, but she was determined to make it work since it was something her mother had done to help look after her.

Her hand clutched her henshin wand, ready to transform. Yes, it would reveal her secret to the people here but she would not allow that poor boy to be beaten to a pulp for something he didn't do.

Kasumi stared in shock at what had happened. First, Nodoka had arrived with Makoto Kino and declared that she was Ranma's wife. Nodoka had then explained what had transpired and was going on. Given what she knew about Genma, Kasumi was not at all surprised he would kidnap Ranma so he could get what he wanted. Akane had very well destroyed any chance she may have had continuing her friendship with Ranma, and any chance of the two schools of Anything Goes being joined in the next generation—at least through her. Maybe Kasumi's child or Nabiki's would be open to the idea when they came of age.

Though as things looked, Ranma could very well be the next grandmaster of the school.

She had noted that Akane's temper had been growing lately by the little things that no one; other than herself and Ranma, had seen and she had seen Ranma trying to make this relationship work. She hoped reverently that things would not go too far and well, she had done a check on Ranma's family as a good hostess should. Genma was nothing major: the son of a minor samurai family with little standing in the community. Nodoka however…she had seen the families Nodoka belonged to and hoped that this would not turn out bad for the Tendos. She would have to talk to Nabiki about her activities, especially if Nodoka's father decided to intervene…that would be very bad for the wrecking crew.

Nabiki snorted and watched the drama play itself out. The idiot had once again been attacked by her sister. Oh well, the wife information would definitely sell well at school that Monday and the information on where he lives will be especially profitable when she sells it to the fiancées and rivals. It should be more than enough for her to get that new laptop she had her eye on.

Rei stared in horror as the blue haired girl struck that poor boy. Yes, it was a bit much getting used to the idea Makoto was married. But given that Usagi and Mamoru were already considered married—if only by the Sailor Scouts—so it wasn't too much of a stretch to imagine Makoto being married to someone she had never met. Besides which if he turned out to be a new enemy it was better if he was close, that way it would be harder to miss him.

Though she couldn't shake the feeling that she knew him some how.

Ami, Minako, Usagi, Hotaru, and Chibi Usa got themselves ready in case Makoto needed there aid with that violent girl. She could be possessed by a youma or something. Well, they were the sailor suited champions of justice and were going to help.

Akane reached Ranma as he was trying to stand up .She readied her mallet again and yelled at him. "You honorless bastard, they were right all along. Shampoo and Ukyo would tell me about the time they spent with you. How you would hold them and kiss them when I wasn't around, only to leave them before I could show up! Then there were the rumors about you that Yuki and Sayuri would tell me about how you slept with some of the others girls after I had knocked you away. I didn't want to believe them but there is proof in my own living room. Well, Ranma, get the HELL out of my home and never return."

She raised her mallet above her head ready to send him out of the ward. "Don't bother packing; I'm going to burn your shit. Goodbye!"

Cold steel pressed against her neck made her stop and rethink her actions. Her mallet faded as she slowly turned her head to look at the person holding the sword. It was Nodoka…and she looked pissed.

"Auntie, what are you doing?"

"Step away from my son slowly, Miss Tendo." Her voice sounded like ice.

"What?"

"You heard me Miss Tendo, step away from my son slowly and make no sudden moves or else the weighty problem that rests on your shoulders shall be removed, permanently."

Akane could only stare dumbly as Nodoka pressed the blade against her neck a little harder till she moved away from Ranma. Makoto had reached her fallen husband and was helping him stand up. Ranma looked over at Nodoka.

Ranma looked over at Nodoka. "Mom? What are you doing?"

"Simple, dear, keeping this young woman from killing you. It is apparent to me that the Tendo-Saotome agreement is now null and void." Nodoka sheathed her blade when Akane was a good distance away from her son. "Not that it had much value behind it, if this was the one they decided to engage you to."

The youngest Tendo daughter faced the Saotome matriarch and spoke to her. "But Auntie, you know daddy and uncle Genma agreed to join the schools. Why go against it now?"

The others had finally reached where they were as Nodoka spoke. "At first, it seemed you made my son happy, and when the time came, I was willing to annul the agreement with Makoto's clan, and formally adopt her as a Saotome. However I have noticed how you have hurt and abused my son for little to no reason whatsoever. He did his best to be faithful to you and …."

"BULLSHIT! That whore over there was gotten pregnant by Ranma that's why you made him marry her"

Nodoka drew her hand back and slapped Akane hard. "You foolish girl! They were set to marry when Makoto turned 16, unless the agreement was annulled. I gave you many chances, but it seemed that you have used them all up because of your undeserved pride and lack of faith in my son. As far as I know, they have never even met before today, so get you facts straight, Miss Tendo, before you accuse someone of something they haven't done. And be glad that the slights you have made to both my son's honor and that of Makoto haven't made me request your death to restore your family honor."

Nodoka glared at the teen. "Keep these actions going, Miss Tendo, and I will guarantee you will regret them. Now then, my son will pack his things and accompany us home."

Ranma winced and headed into the house and up to his room. Everything was going so fast to the aqua-transsexual. First, he was engaged to Akane, now he was married to Makoto. He sighed as he put his belongings into his pack. _Hope things quiets down soon._ _I don't even want to think what'll happen next._

_

* * *

_

Nabiki harrumphed and walked towards Nodoka. "Auntie, there is the little matter of the debt Ranma owes. He cannot leave unless it is paid up, and what about Genma your husband?"

Nodoka reached into her kimono and pulled out a checkbook. She wrote out an amount on one, signed it, and handed it to the middle Tendo sister. "There, that should cover what my son owes you Miss Tendo and I want you to destroy all of the photographs you have of him. You may also sell the information that he is gone but not where he has gone."

"Oh? What if I do sell that information, hmm? What's to keep me from doing that?"

"Do you want fries with that?"

"Excuse me?" Nabiki asked puzzled.

"I said, 'do you want fries with that?'" Nodoka replied. "I would advise you to get used to saying that phrase because if you do sell my son out again I will guarantee that the only job you can get, -that is NOT connected to the Yakuza-, will be in a fast food restaurant. Not even becoming my son's mistress would alleviate the hell I will put you through. Do I make myself clear?"

Nabiki stared at her in shock. She then frowned at the older woman_. Who does she think she is!_ "You wouldn't dare."

"Miss Tendo, screw with my family one more time and death will be the pleasant alternative. After you cash the check, tell me that you don't believe me. The amount on that check is more than enough to be silent about not only my son's new location, but also compensation for the agreement between our two clans. Be smart, and drop this matter."

"What about Genma, your husband?"

"I would advise you to get rid of him…sell him to the Tokyo Zoo if you wish. I will not stop you. He is not welcome back with my family and I am filing for divorce with him, assuming my lawyers have not already filed the papers for me."

"Isn't he head of the clan?" Kasumi asked. She already new the answer, somewhat surprised that Nabiki had been duped by the false trail Nodoka's family left for Genma's stupidity to not end up on their doorstep. If anything, she would have to have a talk with both Nabiki and Akane to make certain they didn't do anything foolish enough for Auntie to ask for their heads.

"No, he isn't, Kasumi-chan. He married into my family. My father is clan head and he has seen to it that Genma will never get control of it. As if someone like him would even be head of the clan after all of the messes we've had to clean up for him. I wouldn't even have married the fat fool if he hadn't gotten me drunk and pregnant." She smiled a smile that made the Senshi as well as all the others still around nervous. "Have you ever seen the huge scar on his back?"

Nabiki's eyes narrowed. "He said he got that from killing some monster terrorizing a village."

Nodoka beamed again. "He got that for his little plan to get into my clan. I made sure he understood the consequences for such actions." She withdrew her blade, examining it in the sunlight. "Please inform him that if I ever see him again, I will complete what I started that day."

* * *

Ranma hefted his pack and looked around the guest room one last time. Despite what people thought, he had come to believe this place was home, the first home he had known for a while. _I'll miss this place._

He headed down the stairs and bowed to Kasumi. "Thank you for allowing me to stay Kasumi-san. I hope we can still be friends."

The Tendo matriarch nodded and hugged Ranma, Akane being held quiet and held back by Nabiki. "Good bye, little brother, I hope to see you again as well."

She looked over at Makoto and smiled. "Take good care of Ranma-chan, Saotome-san. He is a special young man and you are lucky to be married to him."

Only Ranma missed the blush that developed on Makoto.

Ranma turned and bowed to Nabiki, but she just grunted and gave him the cold shoulder. He turned to face Akane and she glared at him. He could see anger and sorrow mixing in her face as she yelled at him one last time. "Get out of here, you pervert, and never come back."

Ranma's shoulders slumped as he slowly turned and headed to the waiting limo. Makoto caught up with him and offered her arm to support him.

He gladly accepted. This day was proving to even be too much for the Great Ranma Saotome.

The others slowly followed, wishing to give the two as much room as possible. It was Hotaru who surprised them all. She walked over to Akane. "You're a violent meanie. I'd avoid Juuban or the Sailor Senshi just might mistake you for a youma and blast you." She turned and left before Akane could reply.

Akane turned and stormed off to the dojo, soon the sound of bricks being broken could be heard from the building as she worked off her frustration and anger.

Nabiki headed for her room she had people to talk to and plans to make. Sure she wouldn't sell the information on where Ranma was living. But there was nothing said about giving them the information. Nodoka would learn about talking down to her.

Kasumi sighed heavily. She would have to rein her sisters in before disaster struck the Tendo family. She resolved that after dinner, she would take both sisters aside and show them the information she knew.

But Kasumi had to smile. It wasn't often she found something that Nabiki couldn't.

She went back to preparing dinner with a large and true smile on her face.

* * *

"Look, Nina, I don't care what you have to do I want the info on a Makoto Kino by tomorrow…. Yes, I will pay you for the information…. Good, see you then."

Nabiki smirked as she walked away from the phone. She needed to think of more ways to get back at Nodoka, and through her, Ranma.

She never even considered rushing the check to the bank. After all, if Nodoka were rich, why would Genma leave her? Hell, even she knew that old fat ass would sell out this agreement again to either Kuno at the drop of a yen.

* * *

"That jerk, two timing me behind my back! How dare he! How dare Nodoka talk to me like that!" Akane smashed another brick as she fumed and yelled. "My reputation is ruined, I'll be a laughing stock at school come Monday…" Her mind kept playing scenarios of the girls laughing at her for what Ranma had done; totally ignoring the fact that Nodoka had told her Makoto wasn't pregnant, or the fact that only she was creating the rumor with all the yelling she was doing. Even Sasuke—who was currently trying to get away from Mr. Turtle—could hear her.

"Bwee?"

"P-chan? There's momma's baby." Akane walked over to the small black piglet, picking him up and hugging him to her chest. "Ranma has really done it this time. He got a girl pregnant and had to marry her."

* * *

Nabiki smirked at that; as she listened to Akane tell her pet pig everything. _Excellent idea, sis. I'll spread a rumor around and help destroy Ranma's reputation and the people at Furinken are stupid enough to believe it. But I'll need a true rumor, not the pregnant one. If I start spreading lies, then if the truth comes out, my business will be ruined. Hmm, maybe Kuno-baby would like to learn that his precious pig-tailed girl is involved in an illicit affair and marriage between Ranma and this Kino girl? Not a lie, but it'll be what he believes anyway.

* * *

_

Ranma shifted nervously as he sat next to Makoto. The girl was easily as tall as he was and was blushing as she talked to his mother. The blue haired girl called…Ami was it? She asked him, "So what was this training trip you were on like?"

Ranma sighed and noticed Makoto was watching and listening as well as his mother. He figured it was time to tell them everything. _Man, I hope they don't freak out around me after I tell them about the Nekoken._

An hour later—traffic was really bad this time of day, and Ranma, Usagi, and Usa insisted on stopping at a drive thru for some food, making some wonder if they weren't related—Ranma began to wrap up his story. "Then we arrived in Nerima, but pops didn't want to wait to get some hot water to change before arriving at the Tendo dojo and…uh…I can tell you about my stay there later."

Ranma sweated at the battle aura surrounding his mother and the looks of pure hate the girls and Makoto had on their faces. _Oh, yeah. I'll tell them much…much later. Like maybe after I'm dead.

* * *

_

Kasumi finished setting the table, when Genma and Soun staggered into the house, drunk as the proverbial skunk. Both of them slowly walked to their rooms to…meditate…on the affairs of the dojo. Nabiki smirked seeing them there._ Well, Daddy and fat ass are home. Can't wait to tell them about Ranma tomorrow._

Kasumi sighed heavily. This would be nothing but trouble, in her opinion, and it would have to be handled delicately. She silently prayed to her ancestors that it wouldn't be so bad. At least with them out for the night, she might even be able to convince her sisters not to follow any stupid plans or set the resources of Nodoka on them.

She did cheer up slightly when she imagined the look on Nabiki's face when she learned yes the check was real.

Akane was still angry over what had happened earlier, and to make things worse, P-chan had run off in a fit. This was all Ranma's fault and if she ever saw the pervert again she would pound him senseless. She growled under her breath.

Nabiki turned to look at her little sister and smirked. _You brought this mess down on your own head, Ranma, you as well, Nodoka._

_

* * *

_

Makoto smiled as she hung off of Ranma's arm as she led him to her apartment. It had been a long and tiring day, one she was glad was almost over. The others had been dropped off, promising to stop by tomorrow. She led them inside and showed Ranma where he could put his pack and bag. The bag was full of clothes his girl side had, while the rest of his stuff was in his travel pack. She and Nodoka nodded after seeing the contents. That would be a series of questions for later. But first…

"Ranma, tomorrow we are going out shopping so you can have some new clothes also," Nodoka smiled, "you will need to get Makoto here a wedding ring. It is only proper."

Ranma nodded. "So where will I get the money ta pay for it and such Mom? I don't want to seem ungrateful but I am kinda broke at the moment."

"Easy enough, son, I will go with the two of you and pay for the things. You are my son and you need some essentials, like female undergarments for your girl side. A chest support at the minimum is needed, so you can keep from flashing all of the boys. Let's not forget about school uniforms. Then we need to decide on what to buy for your room in the new home when it is finished being rebuilt. I know Mako-chan loves her furniture, but I believe the landlord will want the furniture back when you both move in with me."

Ranma did his best not to blush at that thought of undergarments, as did Makoto. "Aun…Mother, I was wondering if I could see the curse now. I wish to get used to it."

Nodoka nodded and walked into the kitchen, Makoto followed her and they brought back a few glasses of hot and cold water. Ranma sighed and picked one up. "Okay, this is my cursed form. No, I do not like guys while in my cursed form I like girls. Only my body changes, not my mind."

Makoto watched as he poured the water over his head. Her eyes widened as he shrank, his hair turned a lighter shade of red than Nodoka's, and he grew in a certain location. She was surprised at the change in height and the water trigger, but…

"Wow, you're a real magical girl, Ranma, just like the Sailor Senshi. It…it will take me some time but…I…. Wow."

Ranma sighed, choosing to ignore the magical girl comment, as his wife—still a weird word for him to use to refer to her—wasn't used to his curse, let alone how he truly felt about it. "Hot water changes me back." He repeated the action and waited, certain she would be entertained by playing with his curse, like Ukyo did. He was surprised when she gathered him in a hug and spoke to him.

"A...Anata, I know it must be hard for you, a guy, to go through that. Frankly, it did surprise and shock me as well but …given I have been living here in Juuban I can accept it. I'll do my best to try and not make you feel bad about it."

He smiled, wishing this were how it had gone with Akane the first time they met. But that was over.

Nodoka watched this unfold. She finally saw how bad Akane had damaged her son when he seemed unable to return the hug. _We will have to work on that, my son. You need to know that not every woman will hit you for showing feelings or affections._

_

* * *

_

Ranma looked around the bedroom. For the first time in many years he got to sleep in a bed. A real treat for him, and there was the added bonus of no snoring pandas to keep him up late at night. Life was good when Makoto, wearing a nightie, sat down at the dresser and brushed her hair. She finished and walked over to the bed and got in.

"Uh, Makoto…?"

"My friends call me Mako-chan, Ranma; you can do the same if you wish. Of course, you can always call me a pet name," she said as she smiled at him.

"Um… what are you doing?" he asked in a panicked voice, certain that she would pound him if he didn't get out of the bed but he was unsure where he would sleep.

"Silly, I'm sleeping with my husband." She smiled in a friendly manner to him. "It **is** something a married couple does, and there is nothing to worry about. I promise not to hit you. You are my husband; this is your bed as well as mine."

Ranma looked at her in shock as she leaned over and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "Good night, Ranma, sleep well."

She turned the light out and settled in. Ranma just kept looking at her in surprise. _Why didn't she pound me?_

It was another hour before he finally fell asleep, still without an answer to his question, and still in bed with his…wife.

* * *

OMAKE…….

Makoto stared at Nodoka in surprise." You are a demon hunter?"

Why yes dear. Your mother, Kimiko Itedo, and myself were quite the team. Here is a picture of us from back in those days."

Makoto blushed brightly " Th… those outfits look painted on."

"Well Mariko's was. That's how she met your father…she was arrested for indecent exposure "If you share that habit of your mother's, I wouldn't mind as long as it was only inside where only my manly son can enjoy the view. Isn't that right, son? Son?"

Meanwhile, Ranma is on the floor, twitching trying to keep blood from shooting out his nose at both the picture and the thoughts of Makoto dressing like that.

Three weeks later...

Luna had a huge sweat drop on her forehead. Mamoru was currently passed out on the floor, covered in blood, while Haruka was drooling. "Makoto, I really don't see how the new outfit will help us fight the enemies of Love and Justice. I mean it looks painted on."

Makoto blushed. "Well..."

* * *

Omake 2

Before Makoto could speak about seeing her husband's new form, a shrill cry rang out.

"WAH! MAKO-CHAN'S HUSBAND HAS A BIGGER BUST THAN ME!"

"DAMN IT, MEATBALL-HEAD! HOW CAN WE SPY ON THEM IF YOU YELL!"

* * *

I want to thank Shinji, Sarrisa, Innortal ,Old Fool , and all the others at Shinjis site for helpinmg me writ this story.I want to also thank you,the readers, for taking the time to comment on what I have written.I will do my best to keep the chapters for this and the other story coming .

Now then the $64 question. How could Nodoka pull this off while Genma and Soun couldn't? Easy ,Genma couldnt follow the directions of a martial arts technique if they were written down and he acts like the BRAINS of the Dynamic Dummmies.What makes you think he could pull something like this offf...but if I tell you more I will reveal something ahead of its time.

Thank you ,again, for reading my fic and I will try to get more out soon.

Typhonis


	3. Chapter 3

Wedded Bliss?

Chapter 3

I do not own Ranma1/2 or Sailor Moon. This fic is written for fun.

* * *

"Boy, time to get up and…boy? BOY? BOY, WHERE ARE YOU?" 

Nabiki growled as she heard Genma screaming in outrage. Didn't that fat asshole know people were trying to sleep? She got up and out of bed, and then headed into the hallway where Genma was making as much noise as a wounded animal. Silently, she was still debating on whether to sell him to the zoo, or turn him in for a massive reward after working out a way to make certain her family wasn't held responsible for harboring him.

"Where is that worthless son of mine? Doesn't he know that he has to keep training or he will lose his edge?"

"He isn't here," Nabiki replied. Her baggy eyes showed how tired she still was.

"What?" screamed Genma as he ran over to her. Nabiki noted that her father, Soun, had come out to join Genma. "Well, where is the worthless boy?"

"In Juuban, at his wife's house and most likely sleeping with her. And Auntie Nodoka is with him," Nabiki replied, growing tired of the fat fool.

Soun looked puzzled for a minute. "But Ranma and Akane could stay here and sleep if they wanted… WAHHH! My baby girl got married without me and moved out of the house."

"There, there, Soun. Finally the schools are joined and—"

"Who said it was Akane he married? It was some girl named Makoto Kino." Nabiki nearly yelled out. The antics of the two grown men were starting to grate on her nerves. She hadn't had nearly enough sleep to deal with the two bumbling fools. She was beginning to start getting the idea of hitting her father with Instant Jusenkyo and sell him as well.

Soun cried out loud. "Genma, your honorless son has run off with another woman!"

"We'll get him back, Soun, get this sham marriage annulled, and have him wed to Akane."

"I doubt it." Nabiki coldly replied.

"Why?" Soun asked puzzled.

"Seems Ranma and the Kino girl were set up to marry by the heads of their clans. And—"

Before she could finish, Soun burst in "But Genma is the head of the Saotome clan."

Nabiki smirked as the fat man paled. "Daddy, I hate to tell you this; but he isn't. Nodoka made that very plain to us last night, she said he even witnessed the agreement being made, and that both clans supported this agreement, not anything he has done."

Soun turned to Genma. "What is she babbling about?"

"I have no idea, old friend .Come let us plan on getting my son back."

Nabiki watched them head for the shogi board to plan their actions. She merely shook her head and headed for the table. She sat down and took the coffee Kasumi offered. She sipped it and sighed when her older sister spoke up.

"Have you taken the check to the bank yet?" Kasumi asked in a low voice.

"No. Why? It's worthless. You know the Saotomes have no money, and for her little stunt I will get Nodoka back."

"Why do you say that, little sister?"

"Look at Genma? I checked his family background out. He is clean—well, clean as we know with what has already surfaced and a few things I have in reserve should we need the reward money—but poor, and if Nodoka had any money, he sure as hell wouldn't leave her."

"That's where you are wrong. You see, Genma has no way to get control of her money."

"What? You are kidding me, right? Nodoka is rich?" Nabiki kept her voice low, but was straining at what she was being told, as her whole world began to unravel.

"Well, yes, I mean she is Tenma Saotome's oldest daughter."

"What?" Nabiki asked in a low voice.

"She is the oldest daughter of one Tenma Saotome; Genma took the family name when he married her. She has a younger sister who married into the Osaka family and lives in Juuban with her daughter."

"Tenma Saotome?"

"Yes, the multi-billionaire. His wife, Mariko, is known for her charity work."

"Kasumi, how the HELL did you find this out? I mean, I checked Nodoka's family, and the trail led nowhere."

"That was all set up to keep Genma's actions from damaging the family . I checked the Saotomes out myself after they got here. When Nodoka came to live here, I asked her about some discrepancies I found in her families story. She confirmed who her family was and congratulated me on a job well done." Kasumi smiled at the look on Nabiki's face.

Nabiki was staring at Kasumi in shock. This definitely changed things, the check was real and if the family was to use the money, she needed to get it away from her father as soon as possible.

"Just think, Nabiki, if YOU had treated Ranma like a decent human being, with a little kindness from the start, you could be the heir to the Saotome family fortune. This is also why your revenge will be put on hold. I do not wish to see my family wiped out because of your petty vengeance."

"What about Daddy and Genma?" She was desperately trying not to imagine how all that wealth could have made her happy. But she could always hope that things fell through with this Makoto. Her information would give her some clues as how that would work. Not that she planned to help it fall apart, but she needed to make plans for the possibility.

Also, she solemnly decided, she needed to find a way to ingratiate herself in the family. Hopefully a friend in Ranma meant her future would be set. Hell, she would almost be guaranteed a high paying job outside of college.

"Well, we can distance ourselves from there actions and let Nodoka know what's gong on. It's all we can do, sadly."

"And…Akane?"

Kasumi sighed. "We can not protect her anymore. It is time she learns that her misdeeds have consequences. We'll try and keep her from doing anything dangerous, but she now needs to grow up."

Nabiki felt like kicking herself, hard. All of that money, prestige, and fame. And she could have had it all if she had treated Ranma better…

* * *

Ranma awoke early to someone curled up beside him. He panicked as he wondered who it was. He looked over and noted the dark reddish brown hair. _Not one of the regular fiancées, Akane will kill me, but it was nice sleeping here in this bed._

That's when he realized he WAS in a bed and this was definitely not the Tendo Dojo. Looking down at the girl beside him, he realized it was Makoto, his …wife. She had a peaceful smile on her face as she slept there snuggled up to him.

He watched her as she slept for a few more minutes when she slowly started to wake up. Panic started to set in on Ranma as he realized the positions they were in, snuggled close together. _Oh Shit! She is going to kill me. I was taking advantage of her in her sleep, I'm dead I'm dead I'm de…_

Makoto looked up into the eyes of her husband and saw fear in them. Yes, she herself was a bit scared but …this seemed different to her, something she couldn't put her finger on. She smiled and pecked Ranma on the cheek. "Good morning, Ramna. Did you sleep well?"

Ranma slid off the bed and started apologizing. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Makoto looked at him, puzzled for a second. "What are you sorry about?"

He looked up at her thoughts racing through his mind. _She is going to pound me._ "I'm sorry for taking advantage of you while you slept. Please don't pound me!"

"Taking advantage of me?" She checked herself and found nothing wrong with her clothes. "What ever are you talking about?"

"Well, we kinda were pressed against each other and you were snuggled against me and I…"

Makoto giggled and covered Ranma's mouth. "Ran-chan." She noticed him wince at that nickname. _I'll ask him about that later._ "You weren't taking advantage of me. In fact, that's the best night's sleep I have had in ages; thank you."

Makoto got up and stretched some. "'m going to go change and do a workout. You are welcome to join me, Ranma." She headed out of the bedroom.

Ranma sat there stunned. _She isn't going to pound me?

* * *

_

Ranma smiled as he walked back into the apartment. The workout with Makoto had gone very well. She had responded to him poking her by tightening her defenses, unlike a certain uncute tomboy who had complained about that.

He noted his mother was cooking breakfast and walked over to her. "Hey, Mom, it looks good so far."

"Thank you, Ranma, why don't you go get cleaned up before breakfast?"

"Okay, Mom." He walked off, and then Nodoka smirked. Makoto had gone in the furo earlier and well…

There was nothing wrong with a husband seeing his wife naked.

* * *

Ranma hummed a little tune as he stripped and put the dirty clothes away. He opened the door that separated the changing room from furo proper and stopped, staring. There was Makoto; naked as the day she was born staring back at him with the deer caught in the headlights look. 

He tried to look away but his eyes wouldn't comply. He watched as she tried to do the same, meanwhile his second encounter with Akane in the furo kept playing in his mind. Makoto was now red as a beet as she finally turned away from him. She knew she should have put the sign out. She just wasn't ready to see Ranma like this; though it seemed he lived up to his name.

"R...R…Ranma…you...c…c...can...wash my b...back if you want to…"

The only answer she got was the sound of the door quickly closing. She breathed a sigh of relief at that, she knew that ultimately they would be together as a husband and wife should, but…she really didn't know him that well yet. There was time enough for those activities.

Ranma was hyperventilating, and well as in shock. Like Akane, he had walked in on a naked Makoto. Unlike the tomboy though, she did have some curves. He headed for the kitchen, a nervous wreck, and once again dressed in his dirty clothes.

Nodoka watched him with some concern. "Ranma is everything okay?"

"Yeah, Mom, just waiting for Makoto to finish her bath so she can kill me."

"What?"

"I'm waiting for Makoto to kill me. I walked in on her as she was cleaning herself?" He said those words as though she should understand that that was what should naturally occur.

"Son, there's nothing wrong with that. You are husband and wife; you are permitted to see each other naked."

"Tell that to Akane. Whenever I accidentally walked in on her, or she on me, I got pounded for it. I…" Ranma jerked as a pair of arms encircled him in a hug.

Makoto spoke up from where she was, her head sitting on his shoulder, leaning against his own. "Ranma…all you did was startle me is all, I know it was an accident and well…you're forgiven."

As soon as she was certain the two would work this out, and hopefully help heal some of Ranma's trust and fear in the opposite gender, she left the room and headed for the front room.

Nodoka picked the phone up and dialed a number; she waited then spoke into it. "Hello, Father, I am taking Ranma and Makoto shopping… Yes, expect some charges on our account… Has the security for this place been arranged...? Good, I want to keep Genma and Soun away. My son has been returned to me… Who, only the Amazons and Kunos may cause a problem… No, Father, I don't think that will have to happen… Yes... Yes… I believe her friends hinted at a party next week for them… Yes… Yes, Father, I'll see you and mother there. Send her my love… I love you too, Father, goodbye."

Nodoka smirked as she hung the phone up. This will be a grand party for Ranma and Makoto, and as soon as they were ready, they would go shopping.

* * *

Ranma walked out of the furo feeling refreshed. The bath had helped him; as had Makoto's talk with him. He was still uneasy around her. But with time, he knew he could come to accept and even love her. She was definitely not like Akane. He headed for the kitchen again, and saw Makoto cooking with his mother. He was shocked to see her hold a bowl up for Nodoka to sip; she nodded, and they continued on. 

_She can cook? _

Oh yes, definitely not like the tomboy!

Ranma looked at the plate and bowls set before him with a sense of wonder and surprise. Nodoka and Makoto watched him smiling, as he tasted the soup first, then some of the other dishes. "This is good!" he declared.

A few more sips and tastes and he was eating it with his usual gusto and speed.

Makoto was stunned at what she saw, even with how he had eaten the small amount of food in the limo yesterday. Ranma was eating at a speed that even Usagi would be hard pressed to match.

That is until Nodoka spoke up. "Ranma, stop that this instant!"

"Huh?" He had barely managed to remember to swallow before answering his mom.

"You heard me, Ranma. I will not let you eat like that here; it would be an insult to your wife's cooking."

"Okay, Mom, I'll try my best not to do it. But it's kinda hard given it was Panda baka's way of speed training me for eleven years."

"Speed training, son?" she asked, a bit of surprise in her voice.

"Yeah!" Ranma nodded. "He would try to steal food from my plate, and if I wasn't fast enough, then he wouldn't let…me….eat. Uh, Mom, are you…?" Ranma paled as he saw his mother having an internal struggle, a small red aura surrounding her. He looked over and eeped at the look of anger and rage on Makoto's face, a matching aura forming around her as well.

He ate the rest of his meal slowly and quietly, not wanting to be the unwitting target when the two girls needed to vent their anger. He actually was enjoying the taste of it for once. _Man if this tastes this good...bet Kasumi's was even better if I had eaten slowly._

Nodoka fumed. _He stole my child's food and claimed it was a training exercise! I will push for divorce if anything the grounds will be child abuse. But his punishment won't end there. Oh, no. It will be something much...worse._

Makoto was fuming as well. _What kind of man steals his own child's food and claims it to be training?_

Back in Nerima, a part-time panda suddenly felt like someone had walked over his grave, while a gentle soul cooking in the kitchen sneezed and smiled, thinking it was her little brother who must be thinking of her.

* * *

Ranma walked behind Makoto and Nodoka as they shopped at the mall. One set of clothes, including some new Juuban High male uniforms for him—despite his protests and the fact of his curse—had already been sent home with the limo driver. Now they were window-shopping, when he saw his mother perk up and head for one shop in particular. For some reason, the look on his mother's face set off his danger senses. 

Makoto looked at where Nodoka was staring and was turning red, but she followed. Nodoka turned and motioned for Ranma to follow them. He looked at the name of said store and wondered. _Victoria's Secret? If Victoria wanted to keep it secret why did she apparently tell everyone it?_ He remembered his two friends at Furinkan mentioning something about it once, saying it was the best. _Maybe it's a martial arts technique?_

Five seconds later, he knew he was wrong...dead wrong.

* * *

The other Inner Senshi at the Hikawa Shrine were holding an impromptu meeting. Rei had asked her grandfather if a party could be held there for one of her friends the next weekend and he agreed. Now they were going to interrogate the Senshi from the future about a small detail she never mentioned. 

"Okay, spill it, Small Lady. Why did you never tell us that Makoto was married?"

Chibi-Usa glared at Rei. "Because—for one—none of you EVER asked! I mean, we were too busy dealing with the latest threat and I felt it wasn't my place to mention it. After all, it doesn't affect the creation of Crystal Tokyo and Makoto is very happy with her husband…though they did soundproof her guest suite in the palace." She began to mutter to herself about finally being able to get a decent night's sleep.

The others stared at her in shock Ami spoke up. "Wait, Ranma sleeps with her at the palace?"

"Yeah. I mean, she is the ruler of Jupiter, so it makes sense she has guest quarters in Crystal Tokyo. Mom had them sound proofed because Mako-chan can be very...vocal...when she…reaches the Clouds and Rain. So can Ranma-chan when Mako–chan is in the mood for a little fun."

Chibi-Usa sweatdropped at the sight of her mother and her friends staring at her. _Thank goodness the Outers aren't here, or Haruka and Michiru would want details._ She was tempted to snap them out of it, but gave up at the sight of the cookies Rei had provided. _Ah hah! Mother is distracted! The victory is mine!_

Minako was the first to recover. "So...do I get married and to whom?"

She realized then and there, the can of worms she had opened. She never even had time to eep before the others swarmed her, the cookies now out of reach, and open to claiming by her mother.

* * *

Nabiki looked over the information in the packet. "So, this is everything?" 

Nina nodded. "Yes, Sempai, everything; save for financial records, I could find on one Makoto Kino residing in Juuban."

Nabiki nodded and handed Nina an envelope. "Good, here is your pay." She was half tempted to ask for information on any relationship Tenma Saotome had with his daughter, but that would be pushing things and risking their wrath.

The girl turned and left while Nabiki looked the info over. _If anything, I can warn Nodoka about anything the idiots try._ From what information Kasumi had told her during breakfast, Nabiki was feeling like the world's biggest idiot for throwing Ranma to her sister, as well as glad she didn't decide to release the video she had of Ranma bathing in either form.

But she had other problems to worry about now, as well as making certain said problems did not ruin her life.

Soun confronted Nabiki at the door to her home when she returned from school that day, only hours later. "Daughter, as your father, I have a request to make."

She looked at him. "Okay, but it may cost you. What is it?"

"As a matter for family honor, I ask you to find where Ranma lives and to tell me where."

"What? Are you crazy? Nodoka doesn't want anything to do with us; from a marriage prospect, and neither does Ranma. Our best bet it to wait till the next generation."

"That is out of the question, child. Our schools need to be joined now, and as a dutiful daughter I expect you to find the information I want."

Nabiki growled as her father walked off. _Lazy, good for nothing, panda ass kisser. Doesn't he realize what Nodoka, or worse, her family could do to us?_

In her mind, she had already decided that if worse came to worst, she would find out from Cologne how to use the Instant Jusenkyo and turn her father into a female panda. The zoo would pay more for a matching set.

She sighed heavily and walked towards the kitchen. She had to scheme with Kasumi if they were to save her family. It was just too bad she could never figure out why the two were pressing so hard for the marriage to be now.

* * *

Ranma ws pale as he walked away from THAT store. Oh, yes, he now knew why his mother seemed to love the store…he had a pretty damn good idea why. He saw the grin on her face and the blush his…wife...had on hers. They had chosen a few outfits for her and she had…modeled them for him. Needless to say, he nearly died of embarrassment and blood loss from the experience, but she did look good in them… _Where did that thought come from?_

He saw her stop and look stare at woman nearby; she was regarding them with a mischievous look on her face. Makoto seemed to pale as she strolled towards them. She had long dark green hair. _Damnit, not another friggin' Amazon._

Setsuna walked over to the small group of people. She noticed Makoto trying to hide behind an older woman with auburn hair and her son. _So this is the young man my older counterpart, told me she married. Mr Ranma Saotome... I can't wait until you meet Haruka in your female form. That will be...fun._

Makoto paled as the Senshi of Time walked over, and hoped that she wouldn't destroy her marriage before she even had a chance to see if it would work out or not. _WAH! I NEVER EVEN GOT A HONEYMOON!_

"Ms. Meio, w...what a pleasant…s...s...surprise to see you away from Juuban High." Makoto tried her best to keep the fear from her voice as she addressed her.

Setsuna gave a warm friendly smile, which made the Senshi of Jupiter worry even more as she replied. "It is a pleasure to see you here as well, Ms. Kino. Would you mind introducing me to your boyfriend and apparently his elder sister or is that possibly his mother?"

Nodoka spoke up at that point. "I am his mother, Nodoka Saotome, and this is my son, Ranma Saotome. They are man and wife now, so she will be changing her family name to Saotome when she starts back to school. So, Ms. Meio, do you teach at Juuban High? And does the school have a problem with a married couple attending the same school?"

Setsuna kept her smile as she returned the bow the other woman had given. "I am the school councilor, and your son will most likely see me first thing so we can properly place him. I see no problem with it, as long as his grades are unaffected, there should be no trouble."

Setsuna looked at Makoto and let her smile reach her eyes, "The school, and I, will have no problem with them being married at all."

Makoto stared in shock as Nodoka and Setsuna kept talking. Ranma gently touched her arm, startling her. He looked at her with concern and asked. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm…fine, just a bit surprised." _She isn't going to break us up? Oh, thank you, Kami-sama. Thank you.

* * *

_

Genma looked at the shogi board and growled. So far he was loosing to Soun. _Not good._ "We have to get him married to one of your daughters, Soun theschools and our retirement depend on it!"

"I know, old friend. Are you sure there is no other way to gain control of that money or the schools?"

"None, if we want to see a penny of that 30 million yen his great grandfather left him, we need him married now…before he turns 20, because his grandfather has set it up to where I can't touch the main Saotome money…EVER! Even if I declared him insane, I couldn't touch it. No, the new plan is the only way.

"As for the schools, you know as well as I that Ranma will be the next grandmaster, and that any way we have of controlling him in that is if his wife is one of your daughters."

"I guess you are right. So, Akane is finished as his fiancée. Since she was born after the date…Kasumi is out of the question…that leaves…"

"That scares me as well, Soun." Genma shivered at any thoughts of the remaining option. "We will have to keep Nabiki busy if we want to pilfer the money. It shouldn't be too hard. Then the money is ours and we are out of here."

Soun continued to stare at the board. "After all, we deserve a reward for ensuring the school's survival after all our hard work."

"Quite right, Tendo." Genma began to smile. "I win."

Omake:

"Okay, spill it, Small Lady. Why did you never tell us that Makoto was married?"

Chibi-Usa glared at Rei. "Because—for one—none of you EVER asked! I mean, we were too busy dealing with the latest threat and I felt it wasn't my place to mention it. After all, it doesn't affect the creation of Crystal Tokyo and Makoto is very happy with her husband…though they did soundproof her guest suite in the palace." She began to mutter to herself about finally being able to get a decent night's sleep.

The others stared at her in shock Ami spoke up. "Wait, Ranma sleeps with her at the palace?"

"Yeah. I mean, she is the ruler of Jupiter, so it makes sense she has guest quarters in Crystal Tokyo. Mom had them sound proofed because Mako-chan can be very...vocal...when she…reaches the Clouds and Rain. So can Ranma-chan when Mako–chan is in the mood for a little fun."

Chibi-Usa sweatdropped at the sight of her mother and her friends staring at her. _Thank goodness the Outers aren't here, or Haruka and Michiru would want details._ She was tempted to snap them out of it, but gave up at the sight of the cookies Rei had provided. _Ah hah! Mother is distracted! The victory is mine!_

Minako was the first to recover. "So...do I get married and to whom?"

Usa just stared, angry that she was once again kept from the precious cookies. "Who said any of you got married? All of you always end up chasing after Ranma, offering Mako-chan something to borrow him. I swear; I had to get my own room soundproofed with all the...praising...you all did." She began to grumble about pervert Senshi.

Mamoru snuck up to his daughter after the others had quickly faded into daydream land again, most likely how well their nights with Ranma would go, judging by how much noise they seemed to make that bothered Usa. "Um, Chibi-Usa, Usako doesn't chase after Ranma, does she?"

Usa smiled. "Don't worry, Daddy. Who said she was my birth mom?"

Mamoru just about fainted. "I...slept...with...?"

"Yep, and Mako-chan and the others were so upset when Ranma was stuck female for nine months. They were so mad...well, let's just say that's the reason I will be your only child...EVER."

* * *

Another chapter done nd gone WHEW I want to thank Innortal for his input, Sarrisa, Shinji the good sharer, Old Fool, and all the others at Shinjis board for there help with this fic. I also want to thank the people who have read and reviewd this fic and welcome all comments good or bad. 

Next chapter the others learn of Ranmas leaving Nerima...and he goes to Juuban high at last


	4. Chapter 4

Wedded Bliss?

Chapter 4

I do not own Ranma1/2 or Sailor Moon or Destroy all Humans. This fic is written for fun

* * *

Akane Tendo was in rare form as she slowly walked to school that day. Her former fiancé was gone for good; had been for two days, and she was of mixed feelings about that. Nabiki had already left for school, so for the first time in many months she could walk to school alone. Which did feel kind of odd to her, but she pushed said thoughts down.

A bell ringing was the only warning she had before a bike dropped out of the sky and landed beside her. It hit with a thump and crashed .She walked over to see Shampoo glaring at her.

"Where Airen? Pervert girl scare him off finally? Shampoo have too too delicious ramen for him to eat. Not toxic waste you make."

Akane glared at the girl and stomped off. She did NOT need to be reminded of what had happened. To think the bastard had gotten some girl pregnant. The horror of it, to be so embarrassed at school by such an act on his part. She was his fiancée, not some cute bimbo from another ward. He should have remained true to her. Well, might have been the influence of the Nekoken. After all, tomcats did stray from female cat to cat… _I wonder how long his marriage will last before he gets another bitch pregnant._

A melon mace slammed into the wall besides her head Akane slowly turned to see a fuming Shampoo looking at her. "Pervert girl speak when Shampoo talk to her or Shampoo beat very badly."

Akane slowly walked up to the purple haired Amazon who was smirking. _Now the bitch will know her place! She shouldn't have tried to steal my husband in the first place! Stupid foreigner girl should know better than stand in the way of an Amazon! _

Akane's answer was a swift punch to the stomach that doubled Shampoo over, surprising the Amazon that she had let her guard down enough to allow the Kitchen Destroyer to do such. A spin kick drove the Amazon into a nearby wall. Shampoo blinked and started to pick herself up when Akane's fist met her chin twice. Shampoo stared at her when Akane spoke.

"Shut the hell up! Your precious Airen is already married to another girl. He got the bitch pregnant and she is having his bastard child…so…leave…me…alone!"

Akane put emphasis on each of the last words by driving her fist into Shampoos stomach with each word. She then turned; walked over, picked the mace Shampoo had thrown at her, and broke the handle in half. She then turned and headed off to school in a bit more of a hurry since Shampoo had made her a bit late.

Shampoo coughed and stared, feeling the pain of each shot, even though she had been through the Bakusai Tenketsu training. She had no idea Akane was that good, sure she had her guard down but still, this did not bode well. Seemed the plan she and Ukyo had cooked up had worked all too well. Akane and Ranma had been getting too close for her taste, especially after Saffron. She hoped her great grandmother would not be too angry, but she had to get Ranma for the tribe. His strength complemented her own. Yes, he wasn't a proper Amazon male, but she could train him. He was a male; it shouldn't be too much trouble. Hell, his curse would have placed him above all males in the village.

She got on her bike and left all the while a certain white duck watched what had happened. Silently he left the area. If possible with his beak, he would have smiled.

* * *

Ukyo waited, at the entrance to Furinken high, for Ranma to show up. He hadn't visited her place yesterday or the Nekohanten, so she wanted to see if he was all right. She saw Akane slowly walking towards the school alone and a silent alarm bell went off in her head. She walked over to the blue haired girl and growled. "All right, you jackass, what did you do with my Ranchan?"

Ukyo took a few steps back from the glare she got as Akane silently walked into the school. A shiver went up her spine from the look. _Looks like Mt. St. Akane is ready to blow her top. I'll ask Nabiki at lunch what's going on. _

But not because Akane scares me. Certainly not.

* * *

Ranma walked alongside of Makoto as they headed for Juuban high. Yes he was married to her but…he still had feelings for Ukyo, Shampoo, and even...Akane. He sighed at how life treated him, but honor demanded that he treat Makoto here fairly. After all, he wasn't the damn panda, now was he?

In a way, his life was somewhat simpler. Since none of his father's agreements had any validity, he was free of all marriage agreements...well, all except this one that his mother made. She had also told him not to worry about the Amazons, as she was prepared to deal with them as well. _Yeah, like they'd ever listen, even if she is a woman and in charge._

He was wearing a uniform for the first time, but he had on fishnet tank top underneath, it had black fabric sown into it in two strategic locations so that, if he were to get wet, the other boys wouldn't get a free show. His mother had told him that it was only proper and, with a smile and a wink, that only Makoto should be allowed that view if she was so inclined.

Ranma had remembered the blush the girl he was married too had given at that comment. Funny thing was...it matched his own. So, with bento in hand, he walked into the schoolyard.

He was on the defensive from step one. Eyes and ki sense scanning the area for crazy gymnasts, insane kendoists, nutty principals, ki vampire teachers... You name it, he was looking for it.

However, it failed to pick up something else, perhaps the most dangerous thing on this planet.

Ranma heard a rushing noise and turned, only be flattened by a blur. He last thing he heard the blur scream was, "I'm going to be late!"

_That's a first. I was attacked by a girl, and she wasn't even aiming for me...I hope._

Makoto and a few other students helped Ranma up. "Sorry about that," one student said. "But Usagi moves like a train when she is late…funny thing though, this is the first time I've ever seen her arrive early."

Ranma nodded, silencing knowing why she had arrived early: his damn luck. "Thanks for the help. It looks like I've fallen though the looking glass. Name's Ranma Saotome, sorry about this. I'm starting school here."

"Hideki Hojo," the male student said, returning Ranma's bow. "But you don't have to apologize for anything, since you have done nothing wrong."

Ranma smiled sheepishly and scratched the base of his neck. "Well not yet…trouble seems to follow me around. I never start it, but well, I usually have to finish it."

A few of the students nodded. "Don't worry about it. Worry about it when the trouble finds you. Then you may have help dealing with it."

* * *

Makoto felt a tap on her shoulder "Yes?"

She noted it was a few girls from her class; the leader had a mischievous smile on her face." So, Makoto, want to introduce us to the new guy? Though it seems you are already familiar with him"

Makoto giggled. "That's just my husband, Ranma Saotome. Sure, I'll introduce him to you, just hands off. He is like I said: my husband."

The girls stared at her. "You have to be kidding me? How did you snag such a nice specimen?"

"Arranged marriage when we were children. My mother in law told me about it. I thought to go through with it since my mother helped to arrange me and…I…"

The girl put a hand on Makoto's shoulder. "I understand, you can tell us all of the details of your honeymoon later. But now, you should show him to Meio-sensei to see what class he has to go too."

* * *

Setsuna regarded Ranma over steeped fingers trying her best to hide the smile that wanted to come out, while maintaining the appearance of Gendo from Evangelion for optimal intimidation effect. She knew all about his past, but wanted to confirm a few things first. "A water based curse? I will need visual evidence, Mr. Saotome."

Ranma nodded. "Yeah, I'll need a few glasses of water; a couple of hot and a couple of cold, so I can show you...and a towel."

She touched her intercom and added the PE teacher, principle and vice principal to the list.

Much later the people there stared as Ranma turned back into a guy. He put the uniform top back on as the PE teacher spoke. "Well it wouldn't be fair to him to use the boys' showers. I know what I was like at that age, so…you have permission to use the teacher's showers, but do not abuse it." The other two people nodded as well.

"I know this is difficult for you, Ranma. You may need to take the sexual education course for women as well. That way, you know what your body is doing in either form."

The principal nodded then chuckled. "Well, I can safely say we do have an honest to goodness magical girl going to our school."

Setsuna smiled at that. "However, I doubt if you could get him to wear one of their fukus, though his wife might for some fun at home."

All three of them looked at her. The principle decided to speak first. "His wife? I was unaware you're married." He grabbed his file from the desk and began going through it again, silently deciding to go and change the entrance application for the school. Juuban was getting too weird. _Maybe I should look into the application they use in Nerima?_

Ranma nodded but Setsuna spoke for him. "Yes, he and Makoto Kino—now Saotome—were recently married .It was arranged by his mother Nodoka and Makoto's late mother some time ago, if I understand correctly."

"Well as long as they keep their grades up…and behave themselves on school grounds, there should be no trouble. Though if you get Makoto in a family way…be sure you are ready for it son."

The principal looked at Setsuna. "Since he will be taking the Sex Ed courses and homebuilding; arrange for Makoto to be his wife during that. It would make it easier for the both of them." He turned to face Ranma, a grin on his face. "It wouldn't do for him to start cheating so early in the marriage."

Setsuna nodded—ignoring the face fault that Ranma performed at hearing that comment—and reached under her desk as the men departed. She handed Ranma some sheets of paper. "Please do what you can on this test. I'm sure we will get your records from Furinken eventually, but…there's no telling what that coconut will put on or in your file. And rest assured, we have a low tolerance for idiots like those that were employed at you old school."

* * *

Ukyo kept glancing over at Akane from time to time. A few of the other students kept passing her notes and she would look at them then tear them apart. She noted her anger building and tried to scoot her desk away during the teacher shift. Miss Hinako skipped in and looked around. The diminutive ki vampire pulled the roll book out and started taking roll. She got to the name Ranma Saotome when the real fun started.

"Ranma Saotome. Ranma Saotome! Would someone please wake Mr. Saotome up so he can answer roll? "

"Miss Hinako, Ranma isn't here today." one student said, then quickly became quiet.

She looked at him then at Akane. "Well, Miss Tendo, do you know where your wayward fiancé is?"

Akane was quiet with her eyes closed. "Miss Tendo, where is Ranma Saotome. Answer me, now!"

Her eyes shot open and a red battle aura erupted around the girl. "YOU WANT TO KNOW WHERE THAT SEX CHANGING BASTARD IS! HE IS GOING TO JUUBAN HIGH SO HE CAN BE WITH THE FUCKING SLUT HE MARRIED AND KNOCKED UP. SO...LEAVE...ME...THE...HELL...ALONE!"

Akane slumped down to her desk as Hinako drained her. She was shocked at her outburst and looked over at Ukyo, now in her full adult form. "Miss Kuonji, is what she saying true? Miss Kuonji?"

Ukyo could only stare in horror at what Akane had said. Ranma was gone? He had married another girl, other than herself—his cute fiancée—and he had gotten said girl pregnant? She needed info and she needed it soon. Akane slowly came to, and the students began pestering her with questions. Her anger built once more.

"THE BASTARD FUCKING KNOCKED HER UP! YES, HE FUCKING CHEATED ON ME; SO NODOKA MADE HIM MARRY THE SLUT. SHUT THE HELL UP!"

Now Ukyo blanched. _Damn it, Shampoo's plan wasn't supposed to work this way! Yeah, push Akane's buttons by telling her that her fears of Ranma being unfaithful were true. But this? Shit, to find out it is true? Need to talk to Nabiki and soon._

_

* * *

_

Nabiki beat her head repeatedly against the surface of her desk as her sister's screaming was heard in her classroom and possibly the whole school. The image of her in a Mc Donald's uniform wouldn't leave her mind. _Got to tell Nodoka and fast! These idiots will definitely believe what the youngest family idiot has blurted out._

A shadow crossed her desk and she looked up.

Kuno stood there gazing at her. "Tell me, Nabiki, is it true? Hath the foul sorcerer Saotome ensnared a pure maiden's heart and gotten her with child?"

She slowly gathered her wits and looked at him. _Keep it up sis, and I'll tell daddy a rich boy is interested in not only dating but also marrying you. If you know what's good for you, Akane, shut up or Kuno will be your husband. Hell, you deserve each other. I wouldn't want to torture poor Ryoga with you. Not fair to the pig. _

Well, I shouldn't say that. The pig might make things worse for me and Kasumi.

Nabiki finally spoke. "No, he did not, what Ranma did to piss my sister off is accept an arranged marriage his mother had made for him. Genma is not clan head and may not make any arrangements for Ranma in this regard. He never has had that power. As for Ranma knocking some poor innocent girl up: no chance, they met the day he married her."

Kuno stared at her, as did the other students. "Yea, doth the very heavens weep this day. But fear not for I: Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue Thunder of Furinken High, shall avenge the honor of the fair maiden Saotome's lusts has sullied. I commission thee, Nabiki Tendo, to discern the location of the fiend so I might smite him heavily."

All were surprised when Nabiki simply stood up, gathered her books, kicked Kuno square in the crotch, and left. _Forget school, warning her is more important. I WILL NOT BE A FRY GIRL!

* * *

_

"Look; I keep telling you I get lost."

The man in a black suit regarded Ryoga Hibiki in his cell. "Yeah right, I'll bet, huh, Yuri."

"My name is Ryoga Hibiki, I live in Japan, but I have a curse that gets me lost."

"Tell that to someone who cares, Yuri. Maybe like your friend in the opposite cell? You will stay here until you tell me how you broke through the security surrounding this place. See you later, Yuri."

Ryoga sighed as the man wearing black walked away. How was he supposed to know that Juuban had a highly top secret American air force base in the middle of a desert? He sighed dejectedly; the breaking point technique was less than useless against the electrified bars that enclosed him and the bald guys? Well, they scared him. Something was definitely not right about them. _Damn you Ranma this is all your fault!_

He looked at the cell across from him when the figure in there moved to get a better look at him. It was three feet tall, had a large head with black almond shaped eyes, four fingered hands and wore a silver jumpsuit. It was held in a cell similar to the one he was in and looked pissed.

"GREAT KAMI-SAMA! A little green man from Mars!"

The figure looked at him and seemed to get even angrier. "Look, you color blind monkey!" it said. "I am NOT green and I am most definitely NOT from Mars. By the way; who the Hell is this Ranma person and how the Hell can it be his fault you are in this mess?"

* * *

Nodoka sighed heavily and hung the telephone up. Nabiki had just contacted her and alerted her to a few things. The fathers were Hell bent on getting Ranma married to a Tendo girl, and it seems the youngest Tendo was doing damage in her own way. Well…she had to admit to herself that while forbidding Nabiki from selling the info on where Ranma was, she had gotten it on her own for her own use. "Clever girl," Nodoka smirked. If things turned out as they might, she may ask Ranma if he would mind an official mistress; especially if what she suspected about Makoto was true.

The universe wasn't quite certain why that thought didn't make her break out in her usual grandchildren dance, but it knew it had to correct for that error.

Now, twelve more Hibiki's were descending on Area 51.

Balance had been restored.

It was the cell phone Nodoka had found on her daughter-in-law that raised her suspicion. She knew that there were none that offered two way video conferencing with the clarity of image that it did. She should know; they owned several companies that manufactured the best models.

It would also explain why she wasn't surprised at her comments about her demon-hunting heritage: she was carrying it on in her own way.

Nodoka smirked at the thought of how Ranma would react to seeing his wife in the sailor fuku…if her suspicions proved true. Also, having the middle Tendo girl in the family as a mistress would help Ranma, since she had a good head on her shoulders, but…it was the actions of the youngest that worried her. Yes, damage control would be needed, but the only real threat may be the Amazons.

The Kuonji's were easily checkmated. Certainly they were a ninja clan. But, they were neither the only clan nor the most powerful. And as far as she knew, neither Ukyo nor her father had ever disputed Genma's claim of telling them beforehand that Ranma was already taken. If anything, Ukyo might need a new family. She would have to talk to her father about adopting Ukyo, thus fulfilling their agreement, and giving the child a fresh start.

Or maybe not. It really depended on what moves the young Kuonji made next.

The Kunos…well, they had the money and resources to be pests, but they also could be checkmated. A few charges of sexual assault from a higher placed family, as well as assault with intent to kill, and the wedding incident where Tatewaki had actually drawn steel... She doubted they were insane enough to risk blood feud with her clan, but if they were…

The gene pool, in that area, could use some chlorine.

She picked the telephone up one more time. She had a few calls to make and needed to make them soon.

* * *

Makoto was doing her very best not to blush at the comments her classmates had been making. Even Naru had been embarrassing her from her questions but she knew it was in good fun after all Naru was Ranma's cousin. Makoto had to giggle at Usagi's reaction to finding out she had run over Ranma like she had. The blond defender of justice kept apologizing to her and such about what had happened, Minako had offered to sit with Ranma and take care of him while he healed, Ami merely smiled at that and mentioned that Nodoka may frown on it since Makoto could do the same.

_If they only knew._

The tall Senshi giggled at that when she heard two polite coughs. She turned and came face to face with Haruka and Michiru. Haruka was smiling evilly and Michiru had a smirk on her face as the Senshi of Uranus asked a loaded question.

"So Mako-chan, who is this Ranma person you are talking about? Some boy that you and Minako have noticed?"

Makoto was very nervous now. She knew what Haruka's and Michiru's tastes were like and she knew very well what her husband looked like when he was female—she couldn't believe how well endowed he was._ Need to teach him some feminine modesty._

She was brought out of her musings by Usagi's reply. "Oh, he isn't some boy Makoto is mooning over, he's her husband."

Haruka did a spit take at Michiru raised an eyebrow. While the blond was coughing, the Senshi of Neptune spoke. "Oh? How unusual. How did that happen?"

"It was something my mother and Ranma's mother decided to do. They made an agreement that Ranma and I would marry on the day we turned 16. There was a provision that it could be annulled if we had found someone else by then."

Michiru nodded at that. "Interesting. So how did Setsuna take the fact that you are married? And if from what I have discerned from the local gossip mongers is true, the fact that he is apparently a new student here?"

Makoto smiled. "Well she was fine with it. She didn't tell me why she was fine with it, but she said that she had no problem with us being married."

The Senshi stopped talking and looked at Makoto. "You met Setsuna outside of school and she knew about the marriage and said she was fine with it?" Minako asked.

"Yes, she did, though it was hidden with what she said to Nodoka-san. So I am now Makoto Saotome."

Haruka jerked at that. "Nodoka Saotome? Red head, about as tall as me, wears a kimono all of the time, and seems like a noble lady?"

Makoto nodded as Haruka shook her head. "I have to meet her!"

"Why?" asked Michiru. _She better not be planning on inviting her to join our games._

"Remember that concert violinist you were gaga to meet, Michiru? Same with me meeting Nodoka, she is the Woman's National Kendo champion 3 years running. A chance to meet her? Yeah, I'd take it."

Makoto could only smile at that. "Sure I'll introduce you to her after school and—"

They all heard a female voice coming closer. "Touch me, and I'll make sure you CAN'T use that hand again. Got me?"

They turned to see a petite, large chested, redhead approaching them, wearing a wet boys uniform. She was carrying her bento and growling at the throng of boys bugging her as she trudged along towards the Senshi. Makoto winced at that and pulled out the thermos of hot water she had. Michiru raised a brow as Makoto walked over to her and gave her the thermos.

"Thanks." She said as she poured a cup of water over her head and changed forms to a male. A loud thunk could be heard as Michiru stared at a passed out Haruka, as well as several of the boys that were still hanging around Ranma and bugging his girl side for a date. "What's her problem?" Ranma asked, motioning towards Haruka.

Michiru shook her head. _Well, looks like Haruka needs to be reminded about how I feel about her checking out the market. Though I believe what he just did will keep her nightmares...interesting._

_

* * *

_

Ukyo picked up the telephone and dialed a number she knew by heart. She hoped he was on the other end, because she had to have help with this.

"Hello Daddy? I need your help finding Ranma…he's left Nerima for Juuban and married someone…no not me…someone else….Nodoka made him marry her…I just need to know where he is…yeah, last name is still Saotome, though…hmm…no…yes, Father….I understand, Father…are you sure?…. I…Father, please…he is…yes, Father… I...I... I understand…"

Ukyo slowly hung the phone up as a tear came to her eye. She had been ordered to either get the marriage annulled and herself replaced as Ranma's wife or she was to kill him in revenge as well as kill Nodoka and Genma.

She slowly made her way over to her bed to wonder HOW things had gotten to that point.

* * *

Nabiki walked home slowly from school. She was dog tired from answering all of the questions the students and some of the faculty had put forth. A few of them still believed what Akane had said in class and wouldn't be dissuaded so there was no fixing the damage that had done. She looked over at her sister and spoke to her. "Do you realize what you have done?"

"Yes, told everyone what a bastard Ranma is," she replied, frostily.

"No, destroyed any future hopes you may have had."

"What do you mean, Nabiki? All I did was tell everyone what Ranma had done. He deserves the shit that is going his way. He had no cause to cheat on me."

Nabiki glared at Akane, her own anger building. "Look, sis, you have pissed Nodoka off at you, and she could ask Daddy to have you kicked out of the clan for the lies you just told."

Akane stared at her, paling a little. "What?"

"Yes, she could ask him to kick you out, or ask for your head, given you sullied her son's name by accusing him of something he didn't do. Just think about it for a second, before you shoot your mouth off. There's also the fact that the Saotome's are not a family to fuck with to begin with. You were there when she denied that remark, so we know he wasn't cheating on you, Genma just has no right to sell him to you."

"Yeah, right. Well, at least he is out of my life."

Nabiki shook her head and swore. Akane just didn't know how bad it could get. She looked towards the heavens. _But I have a sinking feeling she will soon._

Nabiki was afraid—very afraid—of what would happen next. She just knew it would all fall on her, and any hopes she had for a profitable future.

* * *

Cologne sighed as she sipped her tea. Shampoo and Ukyo had tried to break Ranma away from Akane and succeeded. She knew the boy would never go back to the Tendo's willingly, not now. And the girl he was married to? Well…it would not bode well for Shampoo to attack her…not well at all. She knew whom he had married and what she did as an extracurricular activity. She very well knew what the Senshi of Jupiter was and what the Amazons were to her…one did not assault the Amazon queen with impunity. She had seen the ancient scrolls detailing the founding of the Amazon nation and Sailor Pluto did visit them from time to time to help them remember.

She would have to act soon before Shampoo was kicked out of the tribe or worse…

* * *

Tenma Saotome sat at his desk in contemplation. His grandson was back with the family and his lawyers were busily making sure Genma's name would be struck from the rolls and divorced from Nodoka. He still couldn't believe everything that man had done over the years…acting as head of the clan, stealing, mentally scarring Ranma, and slave trading… He had no idea the man would be this bad, but he should have known given how Genma joined the clan. Well, that was in the past, now for the present and future. He touched a button on the intercom.

"Please, have Misato come to my office."

He walked over to the window and waited as a youngish man walked in. Tenma looked at him. "How is the security at the Ganjiro apartments? "

"Very good sir. We have Security Systems Inc doing the groundwork for us. One guard at the desk and a surveillance team watching to be sure no one enters by other means."

Tenma nodded. "And Hikawa Shrine?"

"A team has swept the area and we will have one there this Sunday to secure the party; all should remain peaceful, sir."

"Good...good...you do excellent work. I also want one of our special units in place."

Misato's face hardened. "I understand sir. In case…"

"In case any of my grandson's enemies decide to crash the party. I will not have a repeat of what happened at the Tendo dojo, Misato…and if that means blood must be spilled… we are the Blood Dragon clan after all."

Misato Saotome bowed to his uncle as he left. He would make sure nothing would happen at his Cousin's party.

* * *

Omake:

Haruka closed the door to the house quietly.

Well, as quietly as a piss drunk Haruka could.

She pulled out a small black book from her pants pocket, opening it to the back page, before making two checks in it. When Haruka and Michiru had first hooked up, they had made a list of five people they could sleep with without consequences.

Tonight, Haruka had done two of them. She had checked off "top female kendo artist in Japan" and "top female kempo artist in all of Japan". She had slept with Nodoka and Ranma Saotome.

Not at the same time, mind you. That would be...weird. No, they were separate. Ranma and Nodoka were both a little drunk, but Ranma was apparently unable to hold her...his...whatever, their liquor very well.

Haruka slapped her head, almost loosing her balance, before opening the book back up and crossing out a third title: "a man".

She made her way downstairs, glad that Makoto had gone out of town for some cooking convention.

Of course, Haruka could deal without the pain in her pelvis.

_Damn, who knew he was that good in both forms._

It was two months later the people of Juuban were treated to an interesting sight. Sailor Saturn was holding onto the pigtailed martial artist who had moved in three months earlier, as she kept calling him her new papa, while Sailor Uranus was chasing after him, holding her sword, and threatening to cut his...offending appendiage...off for knocking her up.

Several visitors from Nerima just looked, and continued shopping. The expected no less from Ranma.

Makoto, however, was busy discussing with her mother-in-law that she did not like the idea of Nodoka pimping out her husband to the other Senshi, no matter how manly it was.


	5. Chapter 5

Wedded Bliss?

Chapter 5

I do not own Ranma1/2, Sailor Moon, or Destroy all Humans. I am writing this fic for fun.

* * *

Naru Osaka smiled as she looked at the rings in their case. These two wedding bands were special, not because they complemented each other but because they were for her cousin, Ranma, and his wife, Makoto. She still giggled as she thought about how that day had gone…

* * *

Naru Osaka sighed; bored as she sat behind the counter of Osa-P. So far it had been a slow boring day with hardly any customers coming in to shop, when the bell over the door rang. Turning she saw Makoto and a young man she had never seen before enter the shop with her aunt Nodoka following behind them .She smiled as they headed towards her. 

"Hey, Auntie, Makoto, so what brings you here today? And who is the cutie you have with you, Mako-chan? Don't let Minako see him, or she will snatch him away."

Nodoka smiled at the girl. "That is my son, Ranma, Naru-chan. He is finally married to Makoto and we are here to pick up a wedding band for them; a matching set, if you have them."

Naru blushed at that and nodded. _Good to see them finally married and I know Auntie is relieved as well._ She moved over to one case. "Here they are. Just pick the ones you want. I assume you have told grandpa about this?"

Nodoka nodded and Naru smiled. "Great, remember you do get the family discount for shopping here."

Makoto started looking through the case with a blush as Ranma looked at Naru. "Um, excuse me, Miss, but…you called my Mom...Auntie?"

"Uh huh, she is my mother's older sister. What...you didn't know?"

Ranma reached up and scratched the base of his pigtail. "No, I haven't really had a chance...to well...talk to her about our family yet."

Naru nodded, as Makoto blushed even further as she regarded this one ring set. Nodoka looked at them. "So is this the set you want?"

"Yes, mother. But…the price …I think they are out of our budget range."

"Nonsense, child. If that is the set you want… Naru-chan, we have chosen a set."

Naru walked over and opened the case. "This one?"

Nodoka nodded as Naru brought the box out. "Yes, this one. The rings will have to be fitted to them but—"

Naru nodded. "Easily done, Auntie "

Ranma looked at the twin rings and at Makoto. She had a blush going as Nodoka finalized the purchase with Naru.

* * *

The teenaged girl giggled once again at the memory of that day. Well, the rings were finished now, as well as a simple gold chain necklace that Makoto had also picked out for her husband—saying how he needed it to keep the ring on instead of his finger—and all that need be done was for Ranma and Makoto to wear them to make certain the fits were perfect. _What kind of reason would keep Ranma from wearing it on his hand like normal people?_

She sighed at the thought that one day, Gurio Umino would hand her a wedding ring like this. She blinked, and pushed those thoughts aside as she headed for the telephone to call up her Aunt and give her the good news.

* * *

Genma and Soun did their best to sneak around the Ward offices but…sadly; Soun was as quiet as an elephant with a thorn in its foot. The plan was simple, but there was danger inherent to it. Akane could no longer be Ranma's wife for the simple reason she was born two months later than the Kino girl, so they had to plan accordingly. Of course, the seals on it were forged but they would pass a cursory glance. Nope, the plan was simplicity itself: file a fake wedding paper declaring that Nabiki and Ranma were married on a certain date, and collect Ranma's inheritance. The newlyweds could spend the rest of their lives repaying their fathers' generosity in getting them together and keeping their family honor intact. Soun motioned Genma over and showed him the files. Genma slid one open and placed the document inside. Both men then smiled and snuck out. 

Of course, being students of Happosai, they left with several boxes of petty cash, four computers, and the liquor supply of several managers.

* * *

The very next day, the filing clerk found the paper and wondered at it. He sighed and started to do the appropriate work for it. 

Had to be a record the youngest couple to ever be divorced.

He needed a drink when he saw it, it made him feel sad. But he couldn't figure out where his liquor had gone.

* * *

Ranma was roof hoping home. His mother and his …wife...had encouraged him to explore Juuban on his own, and he had. The place was way different than Nerima. There were a few more parks and it seemed to have a more relaxed atmosphere. Shoot, he was pleasantly surprised that Makoto was letting him do this. Akane would have screamed at him about where he had been and with whom. All Makoto asked was if he had fun and if he had brought her some of the ice cream they had eaten on one occasion. He had made it up by taking her to the shop the next day after his first tour. His thoughts drifted back to that day.

* * *

Makoto had a raised eyebrow as her husband in his female form led her into the ice cream shop. "Why are you female? I know you dislike your curse so…why?" 

"Simple." The redhead said. "Pops told me guys didn't eat ice cream, so I always ate it as a girl"

"But," Makoto said. "A guy can eat ice cream."

"Oh, I know that. It's just ice cream tastes different to me when I am a girl so I enjoy it when I can. Also, well...I'll get you some and you'll see."

Not less than 5 minutes later Makoto was shaking her head. She could not believe what Ranma had managed to do! He was very adept at using his female form to snag treats and well…here was proof. She knew if Usagi had seen it, she would always be borrowing her husband for just such matters.

* * *

Ranma smiled at the memory. They had returned later and Nodoka had asked where they had gone. Ranma mentioned they were eating ice cream when Nodoka had gotten an evil glint to her eye. She turned to look at Makoto and asked if she had managed to hold sill through the whole affair and that a love hotel wasn't needed...they had a bedroom here after all. 

Ranma wondered why Makoto had gotten beet red and was stammering as his mother laughed out loud …oh well, something to ponder later. _Love hotels serve ice cream? Man, no wonder people are always going there. I bet their ice cream is the best!

* * *

_

That's when he felt it…dark energies concentrating on one point. He stopped and headed towards them. Apparently Juuban had its own demon problems as well.

The creature roared as it held Mercury prisoner .The other Senshi dared not attack it, lest their attacks hurt the Senshi of Mercury. Uranus was ready to rush in when Pluto restrained her by grabbing her shoulder. She turned to curse Pluto out when…nothing...slammed the monster in the legs slicing through them as if they were tissue paper and making it release Mercury as it howled in pain.

Uranus blinked at what had happened and stared as a familiar figure in red and black stood on a nearby rock and glared at the monster. She was about to say something, when he brought his hands down and the same nothingness from before sliced the creature in an X pattern. The different parts fell to Earth and vanished into smoke as it died. Ranma hopped down from his rock and faced the sailor-suited warriors of love and justice.

"There ya go; no trouble at all. By the way, who are ya?"

He sweat dropped at the sight of ten girls face vaulting. They slowly picked themselves up when the blond with the strangest hairstyle he knew spoke up. From the hair he thought she might be an Amazon but the voice was Japanese.

"We are the defenders of love and justice: the Pretty Sailor Scouts. And sir we wish to thank you for your help and…" Moon began to worry as Ranma started to look at one of the scouts. She noted Jupiter was very nervous…it didn't help that, yes, a news crew was taping this and…

Ranma moved closer, trying to make certain no one overheard them. He knew what could happen: embarrassed female plus Ranma equals mallet. "Mako-chan? What are you doing out here dressed like that?"

"Well, Anata…"

* * *

Makoto sighed tiredly as she went into her apartment. Ranma had been a little surprised that she was Sailor Jupiter and to find out that is what she moonlighted as… in that way…yes, she was trying to let her relationship with Ranma work. But, she also knew the others were depending on her, and Ranma could tell her not to be a Senshi anymore. 

She didn't want to have to choose between Ranma and her job. She wanted to try and make this work. Sure, she was a bit miffed that she had her husband chosen for her, but still, it was something her mother had done before she had been. What had surprised her was how Ranma had known it was she under the disguise field, but she herself should have been aware of it as a martial artist. The only reason he had not identified the others was the simple fact he had not been close to them often enough to study their chi fields and learn it. Not so with her: his wife. _Something to ask Ami about: if it's possible to have the magic disguise our Chi._

Makoto brushed those thoughts aside as she quietly entered the furo. She calmly removed her clothes and thanked the Kami that, apparently, Nodoka had decided to retire early that night. She set them in the wash basket and picked up her supplies. She walked into the furo to see Ranma pour more cold water over her body, cleaning off the suds.

Makoto let out a squeak at the sight, causing Ranma to freeze in fear. The redhead slowly turned around to face Makoto and, seeing that the towel was all she had on, turned around again quickly, blushing furiously. "Hey, Mako-chan…I am…just finishing up…yeah …I'll be……..outofyourwayandyoucanusethefuroinasecond."

"That's alright, Ranma…after all we are…married and its …n…natural for us to see each other…n…naked. There's also the fact that we are…b…both girls at the moment, so it isn't as awkward."

The bath was quick, but still awkward for both. But, unlike the last time, the tension was less.

* * *

Ranma sighed as he slid into bed that night. So far today had been weird. One, he found out Makoto was one of the sailor-suited warriors of love and justice: Sailor Jupiter, apparently. That thought made him worry more than usual. After all, she was facing demons and such on a daily basis. But, it was also in her family's calling and his family calling as well. But still…the thought of a demon hurting or killing her worried him. 

Two, he had been run over by Usagi...again. It was like the ladle lady in Nerima; so far she had yet to miss. It was so very weird like her hairstyle and… _No, that makes no sense. Put it out of your mind, Ranma. There is no way in Hell she is Sailor Moon just because she just happens to share the same hairstyle._

Ranma had no idea how to proceed. There were no manuals for what he was going through and he knew what his mother's advice would be…grandchildren—only thought on her mind, it seemed—though for some weird reason, she hadn't been pushing them like he thought she would.

Oh well. Just a matter of time before that old pattern showed up.

Ranma looked over to where Makoto was settling in and sighed. They would speak about this tomorrow. He had decided to let her go on doing it. After all, he knew it would only be a matter of time before the chaos of Nerima caught up with him, and he couldn't fault her for doing what she did, or following her family's calling. It was something she seemed to like doing.

But, she would need some harder training…maybe a weekend training trip? Makoto and himself alone, along with his mother for escort? Wait, scratch that idea…maybe his grandfather? _May work._ Maybe ask grandpa for some advice…after all he was older than himself so he must know a few things.

_And on the way back, we can stop at one of those love hotels, so I can see if their ice cream is as good as people think.

* * *

_

The fathers were up to something...she knew it. It was as plain as the nose on her face, but she had no idea what it was. Nabiki Tendo was extremely nervous. The idiot duo had returned the night before singing about how the schools were finally joined. They had also brought a ton of stuff back with them and it worried her what they had gotten—no lottery she knew of would give away computer tech 10 years old…there was no market for it. So she sat and planned, hoping today would be better…

She took a few antacid and swallowed them with water. _I'm getting too old for this shit.

* * *

_

Soun regarded Genma over the shogi board. "Genma, old friend, my daughter has yet to give us the info we need to make the second part of our plan work. What's going wrong?"

Genma thought for a minute, his eyes never leaving the board. "I could search her room, old friend; she may have hidden the info and lost it because she wanted a higher price from you."

"But I am her father and asked her to find it as a matter of family honor?"

"True, but you know what kind of mercenary she is. This younger generation just doesn't respect family honor like we do."

"Too true…should be easy. I'll ask her to come here and we'll talk while you carefully search her room. Any jewelry she has is hers, Genma. But petty cash is well..."

Genma nodded at that. Soon they would find out where Ranma was living it was only a matter of time.

* * *

"Shampoo, Ranma is no longer your husband. Get that through your head." Cologne felt like bopping the Amazon on the head yet again. So far, for the past hour, she had tried to talk some sense into the girl, but it was no use. Shampoo was not listening to her. 

In fact...she believed her great-granddaughter was in a fantasy about herself and Ranma on there wedding night. She sighed heavily as Shampoo merely nodded from time to time, occasionally giggling.

She turned to see Mousse; calmly, quietly sweeping the floor, the exact same spot he had been doing an hour before. The blind Amazon had his back tuned to them but Cologne knew he had an excellent sense of hearing. She walked over to him. "If you can keep her out of trouble…things are not going to go as she likes."

Mousse nodded at that. He had seen no point in going after Ranma during this current episode. Unlike Shampoo, he had paid attention during lore classes and had remembered when the green haired guardian of time had arrived to tell the Amazons their queen had been reborn. That's what the competition had been for to choose a champion to go out and lead a party to protect her in these dark and unenlightened times. To attack him now would be to invite a punishment worse than being handed over to the Musk as a bride.

He turned and decided to go to the Tendo home. If anyone would know it would be either Nabiki or Kasumi.

He decided it was better to go with Kasumi; she was the more pleasant of the two. Mousse frowned. His last talk with Nabiki had put him back three months on his savings for laser corrective surgery.

* * *

Ranma and Makoto walked to school slowly. He noted she looked a bit down and, trying to not put his foot in his mouth, he decided to ask her if what he thought was the problem was. "So, what's troubling yer mind, Mako-chan? Worried I'd tell ya not to be a Sailor Senshi anymore?" He made certain no one was nearby and kept his voice to a bare whisper that only she could hear. 

She didn't look at him but nodded. "Yes, Ran-chan, that is my biggest fear: you will tell me not to do it anymore."

He nodded silently then looked at her. "Well, I have no trouble with it. I mean, heck, I used ta help kill the youma an demons that you guys…er, girls missed that made their way into Nerima. I mean, sure, I'll be scared you're gonna get hurt. Heck, I was wonderin if, well…would ya like me ta help train you and yer friends?"

Her answer was swift. _Man, when did she learn the Amazon glomp?

* * *

_

Nabiki frowned. Her father had stopped her from going to her room and was having a talk with her...in the dojo of all places. She stared at him as he tried to make small talk with her.

"So, how is school, dear?"

"Fine, daddy. Just peachy. So why are we out here?"

Soun smiled nervously. "Why, to bond somewhat, of course. I know that between Kasumi and Akane, you must feel overlooked. So, I thought you would like to speak to your good ole father and have a father-daughter bonding experience."

"Really?" she replied raising a brow. "Well, we could go elsewhere for the 'bonding experience'. Maybe better than here."

Soun nodded rapidly. "What an excellent suggestion, daughter!" _It will by more time for Saotome._

"Yep, let's go to this ice cream parlor I know of. It will be a great place for us to 'bond'," she smiled at Soun and a chill went up his spine.

It was the same smile his wife would get when she had gotten something on him.

* * *

Much later Soun was weeping over the Shogi board…his little outing with Nabiki had cost him a cool ¥10,000. He looked up to see Genma smiling at him, but cradling his left hand. Soun raised a brow at that. 

Genma answered the unspoken question. "I went through her underwear drawer to make it look like the Master had done it. She left a few booby traps in place."

"Oh?"

"Yes mouse traps...the old fashioned type with teeth. Your daughter has no respect for the Master's whims."

* * *

Nabiki swore up and down. Someone had raided her room and her panty drawer. It looked like it was the work of Happosai but she definitely knew the diminutive pervert would never set foot in here. She and Happi had an understanding, he didn't mess with her stuff and she wouldn't air mail him collect to the Amazons of Jusenkyo in a box full of men's underwear. 

It worked, and she had peace. But some idiot didn't know of her arrangements.

Sure, Happosai could have done it, but she was sure it wasn't him. He would only have gone for the bras and panties, and left everything else alone. She went to check on her safe, when she noted that her note pad that she had left on her desk was missing; the pad with Ranma's address on it. She growled. She opened her safe, hidden under the chair at her desk in a fake floor panel and looked inside; the packet was still there. Apparently, the notepad was what they were after. _Time to make a few phone calls…and time to eat some more antacid._

_First, call Auntie, and then Cologne. I'm certain she would like to collaborate on this project. After all, more female pandas would help save them from extinction.

* * *

_

Mr. Kuonji smiled at the information he had gotten. Ranma was going to be at a party this Sunday along with his mother and most likely his father. Soon, he would pay Genma back for what the bastard had done to Ukyo all of those years ago…oh yes, vengeance would be sweet.

* * *

Sasuke waited patiently. That was his best attribute patience. So he waited and waited. Then Kasumi had spotted him somehow and invited him in for tea and such—who was he to refuse Kasumi Tendo's hospitality. He was snacking on a small cake when the phone rang and she answered it. 

"Hello, Tendo residence, Kasumi speaking… Oh, hello, Auntie, how is my little brother doing? That's great. Glad to hear he and his wife are getting along…hmmm…what's that? A party? Oh, when? Yes…yes…yes… I'll be there and I'll bring something special. Hikawa shrine? This Sunday...got it, Auntie."

Kasumi turned to see the tea dishes done; save for her own, and a note from Sasuke thanking her, but telling her he had to leave on duty. The elder Tendo girl sighed. _Oh well, looks like the Kunos will be going to the party as well.

* * *

_

Happosai looked at the address in his hand and at the elegant home in front of him. Drawing up his courage he walked forwards too it and rang the doorbell. A short time later a short dark haired girl answered the door. She looked one way then another before a polite cough brought her head down to face the old pervert.

He gave her a warm smile, all the while saying to himself. _Must not glomp. If her power reserves are ANY indication, she can squish me like a bug._

He smiled warmly at Hotaru and asked his question in a pleasant sounding, friendly voice. "Is there a Miss Haruka Tenoh living here? And if so, would you please get her. I wish to speak too her some."

Hotaru looked at him puzzled then answered. "Uh...yes, Haruka-papa is home. But she and Michiru-mama are having…fun."

"Fun? Haruka-papa?" he asked, puzzled. "Well I guess…"

"Hotaru-chan, who is at the door?" Haruka asked. She was currently wearing a large shirt and her hair was disheveled. She looked at whom Hotaru was talking to and let out a Usagi-esque squeal of joy. She ran over and scooped the aged pervert up and gave him a bear hug. "Grandpa! Whatever are you doing here?"

* * *

"Of course, my daughter-in-law wants to sell her apartment. She is moving out of it soon so she can come live with us and her husband." Genma said smiling to the real estate agent. 

The man looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "Really, and why did she ask you to do this?"

"Because, my good man, she is busily packing her things for the move, checking with the movers and such. My wife is helping her with that, so I thought to be a good father-in-law and help her sell her old place, since she won't need it anymore."

The man nodded and the price this Genma Saotome had asked for was very reasonable, given where said apartment was located. Also given the monster trouble there, but the Sailor Senshi had been keeping them in control, and rumor had it the Senshi had a new male…one that, unlike the Tuxedo Mask character, actually went into combat with them, and was very effective.

"We have a deal then, Mr. Saotome. Just fill out this form and my secretary will cut a check for you in your daughter-in-law's name."

"No need for that," the portly man said, trying not to appear nervous. "Just put my name on the check and I'll cash it and deposit the money for her. Like I said, I'm doing this for her."

Genma took the check with him .A smile on his face._ This will teach Nodoka and that girl to mess with my plans._ The smile widened. Yes, Soun may not know that he had done this and sure it wasn't part of the overall plan they had hammered out, but the extra ¥ 30,000,000 would help them in their retirement plans.

That was assuming of course, Genma didn't forget to share it with him.

Revenge was a very good thing.

* * *

"Hikawa Shrine? Of course the foul sorcerer goes to desecrate it so that his evil can spread even further. I will go and ensure that such a thing shall not happen. Sasuke, I thank thee for thy timely information…you will be given a reward." 

The diminutive ninja left Kuno's study and was headed for the kitchen when a ribbon snaked out and wrapped him up mummy like. He was spun to face the other Kuno sibling. "Mistress Kodachi! How may this humble servant aide thee?"

He began to sweat as she smiled at him. "By telling me where my Ranma–Sama has been this whole time and what is so important about a shrine in Juuban."

He started to really sweat at that. He knew that nothing but trouble would come of it. He just knew it.

* * *

Soun finished his disguise and smiled. He was dressed up as a weeping clown and Saotome was going as a panda bear. No one would suspect their true motives of capturing Ranma and bringing him back here to his now lawful wife, Nabiki. Now all they had to do was follow Kasumi to the Shrine where the party was going to be.

* * *

Shampoo watched from her hiding spot as Soun and Genma slid out of the Tendo household wearing the most ridiculous disguises the Amazon had ever seen. One was dressed as a clown; the other as a trained panda in a leotard. To anyone who knew them; they were as fake as an American $3 bill. She moved in closer to overhear them. 

"Just a matter of time now, Saotome. Then Ranma will be ours once more."

They were after Ranma. They knew where Ranma was!

Shampoo slid after them using all of the tricks she had learned as a warrior to hide from them. Given their combined intelligence; however, it wasn't much of a task.

* * *

Mousse; however, did enjoy one advantage over Shampoo. No one ever looked up to see what kind of bird was following them or even if a bird was following them. Soon this mess would be over and hopefully; Shampoo, would emerge with her head attached.

* * *

Akane was walking home from spending the night with Sayuri. She had been a bit depressed lately over what was happening and her thoughts were a bit muddled. 

_Could Nabiki be right? Have I screwed up royally? Man, I...I think I did hear Ranma declare he loved me at Jusendo. But the wedding fiasco... He had to be the one to invite all those other weirdoes. I know I didn't and I'm sure Nabiki didn't either because I remember father telling her not too. Then there was that mess afterwards…Shampoo and Ukyo telling me I had just missed him and what a wonderful kisser he was… _

_Were they lying? I just don't know, and seeing him with her and hearing Nodoka say they were wed… Then why did he cheat on her I...ughh, my head hurts._

She felt someone bump into her from behind as she mused. She also heard a familiar voice speak up. "Uh, I apologies for that Miss, and if you would be so kind, would you please tell me if I am anywhere near Akari's pig farm or the Tendo dojo?"

Akane turned around and stared at Ryoga. He in turn stared back at her. "Ryoga? Where have you been?"

"Um, I can't tell you or else the federal agents said they would make my life a living hell…so did that Martian…mean bastard…man, I'm glad to be out of there."

Akane double blinked at that. "Um, okay, sure, I'll help you. We can call Akari from my house and she can come pick you up."

Ryoga blushed at that. "Thanks Akane." Soon they headed off.

Akane noted how Ryoga was walking funny. "So...um...what happened to you? It's not something Ranma did, is it?"

"No, for once this is not his fault…remember that Martian I was talking about?"

* * *

Nabiki was lounging round the Tendo home that day. The fathers were gone out doing something. Kasumi had gone to the wedding party, and she didn't feel like pressing her luck going uninvited to it. Besides, she had found out that Security Systems Inc. would be patrolling the area and they were known to be very good at security work. She also knew they were owned by Tenma Saotome. 

_They will definitely keep trouble out unless the local crazies decide to make a scene._

She was leafing through some papers for her choice of college when she heard a knocking at the door. She opened it up to see a young man in a business suit standing there. "May I help you?"

"Yes, is there a Nabiki Saotome home?"

_What the Hell?_

Alarm bells were going off in her head as she answered the young man. "I'm Nabiki Tendo, not Saotome. How may I help you?"

"Ah, gomen." The man said with a bow. "I am here to deliver your divorce papers. Here you go and may you find happiness in your new life, Ms. Saotome. Oh, I'm sorry; Ms. Tendo."

Nabiki stood there in shock holding the papers, all color fading from her face. Her mouth was open in shock as he calmly walked away and back into the house. One thought going through her mind.

_I don't want to be a fry girl. Got to get to Nodoka and FAST.

* * *

_

Omake:

When Ranma learned that Haruka may be related to...Happosai—a thought that nearly made him wretch that someone would do that with the old letch—he asked Nabiki to see if it was true.

So, they were all gathered at the shrine, Haruka in a chair, and all the Senshi, with Nodoka and Nabiki standing at the sides of a door.

A door, with which, a female Ranma was behind. "Do I gotta come out like this?"

Nabiki smirked. "Yes, Ranma. You wanted definite proof that Haruka is related to Grandfather Happosai, and this will prove it."

Makoto was nervous. She didn't know what the test was, but she knew it had to be bad.

Nodoka was getting a little upset. First Nabiki had been quiet about the package she had brought with her, saying it was part of the test, and then Ranma was hiding whatever it was. "Son, why are you not out here? You were the one who requested this."

"Well, for one, I hate this thing. And second, no one has told me where the old letch is?"

Nabiki decided to quell the questions before the others lost interest. "Saotome, he is off in Kyoto at a swimsuit competition. Now get out here or I will charge you for this."

As Ranma made his way out the door, Haruka finally began to lose her composure. "I don't know what sort of fucking test can tell them I am definitely related to Grandpa?"

The question was soon answered.

From the door, now stood a female Ranma, wearing a very...very tiny bikini that left both nothing to the imagination, nor fit her properly. "Why the hell's it gotta be so damn tight, I fell like it'll bust off if I breathe too deeply."

"SWEETO!"

A large blur flashed across the room, followed by the application of an Amazon glomp onto Ranma. She looked down, twitching, as she saw the blond hair of Haruka's head as she nestled her face between Ranma's breasts.

Ranma was torn between bashing Haruka for doing what she was doing, and her ideals to not hit girls.

Though the latter was giving way to the former...quickly.

Michiru was turning red, twitching like Ranma. But she was uncertain if she was upset because of what Haruka was doing or because Haruka had done it first.

Makoto was about to start to transform and zap the hell out of the Outer Senshi for manhandling her husband like that.

Usagi was crying for obvious reasons. Nabiki had got that bikini from her!

Mamoru had currently passed out from severe blood lose from the nose.

"And that," said Nabiki, "is the proof that she is related to Happosai."

* * *

Hello loyal readers and those just starting. Chapter 5 is done and GONE woohoo. I want to thank Innortal, Shinji good sharer and the rest of the gang at Shinjis board for there help. Now then Chater 6 is coming and yes there will be fighting. 

Some have wondered How Akane could hurt Shampoo like that. Easy

1 Shampoo's mind wasn't on Akane but on Ranma.

2 Akane got in a sucker punch and really didn't give Shampoo a chance to recover.

3 She is that good. Remeber, in the manga, she beat the entire Furinken high kendo team by herself. Also she HAS been training with Ranma even if it was him dodging and poking her.

Hope that explains what happened and Akane will not get the Kiss of Death. She is already under it. Enjoy the fic and thank you for Reading it. I accept both good and bad reviews and try to work the suggestion given.

I wish to appologise for not posting this the finished chapter of Wedded Bliss ? 5. Here is the actual chapter as I intended it with help from Innortal.

Typhonis


	6. Chapter 6

Wedded Bliss?

Chapter 6

I do not own Ranma ½, Sailor Moon, or Destroy all Humans. This fic is written for fun.

* * *

Soun watched as a Nodoka escorted Kasumi past a pair of gray clad security guards. Both men apparently were armed and were checking the people coming in and out carefully. This presented a problem that had to be solved. He looked over at a brooding Genma and nodded. They would simply wait for a distraction. If anything one of Ranma's rivals or other fiancées should show up, that would let them slip in.

* * *

Shinji Hitori growled at the unfairness of it all. First, he definitely had an exclusive all those days ago. Young man helps Senshi and saves Sailor Mercury and from what he saw he apparently knew at least one of the Senshi, Sailor Jupiter, and the rumors may be true that Jupiter and Mercury could be lovers…

But that had fallen on its face when, reviewing the tape he saw that the same disguise field that protected the Senshi was working for the guy as well, making it hard to tell who it was that had helped him. His boss had been less than pleased at that.

So here he was, the greatest reporter in Japan, covering the wedding reception of one Tenma Saotome's grandson.

_I wish something would happen that would make a killer story. _

Little did he realize that his wish would come true very soon.

* * *

Nabiki leafed through the papers one more time. Her anger was building each time, as was her fear. She had just been royally screwed by her father and the panda and they had not bothered with any KY Jelly. She picked the phone up and dialed the Nekohanten.

* * *

Cologne growled in frustration. Shampoo was gone and she had no idea where. But if her intuition was correct, Mousse was after her. She just hoped nothing bad would happen but…she also knew that Murphy's Law had yet to be repealed.

She was ready to bite someone's head off as the lunch rush continued when the phone rang. She ran over to it and answered. "Hello, this is the Nekohanten. I am sorry but we are not delivering today…Nabiki…Yes, the spring of drowned girl water and spring of drowned panda water will be here in two weeks, why? They what? … When? … I see. Yes, I …just calm yourself, dear…I…yes, Nabiki…Look, we will speak later. I have a business to run."

Cologne hated hanging up on the poor girl but the place was hopping. Soun and Genma had royally messed up this time. Oh well, maybe she could adopt the Tendo girl?

There was an idea. She was clever enough; she just never had a chance to learn the art. Hmm.

That however could wait. She had a business to run and that took priority right now.

* * *

The catering vans approached the shrine and were waved in. Mr. Kuonji smiled at that. Soon, he and his men would be in position and then he would confront Ranma. The boy would marry Ukyo...or else. There were no other options in his opinion.

It had worked perfectly. His friend had needed help with the catering; and he was only too happy to help. It was returning a favor he had owed the man. The fact it let him and his men in was a happy coincidence.

He idly wondered how his sister's boy was doing. Poor fellow had a directional curse that made it Hell for him to get anywhere he wanted to be. He would ask Ukyo if she had seen hi recently. The bandanas he wore did make him stand out some.

* * *

Ryoga sneezed and wondered if he was coming down with something. He smiled as Akane led him to the Tendo Dojo when he heard an ominous humming sound. Turning, he and Akane saw a saucer shaped craft slowly descend to the ground, landing on four spindly spider-like legs. A hatch opened up and a figure was lowered to the ground. He saw a very familiar face that land lightly on his feet, holding a green ray gun.

Akane stared opened mouthed at the sight before her. It was a Martian, but it was gray not green—what's up with that and—it was talking. She decided to listen to what it said. _Bet it says take me to your leader. _

"Ryoga Hibiki?" it asked.

"Uh yeah, I'm him and... Hey, I met you at that Army Base in Juuban!" Ryoga said excitedly. "How're you doing, man?"

The thing growled at Ryoga, brandishing the ray gun. "I am Crytospiridium 137, my predecessor was the one you met, and you have made my line's lives a living HELL!"

Ryoga began to slowly back away. "W...w...what do you mean?"

"We are telepathic, and your damn irrational need to smack this...Ranma person around...has wormed its way into our memory patterns, and now it can't be removed. So I'm here to put you though Hell as punishment."

"But it's all Ranma's fault! If he hadn't—YEAAAAARGHHHHHHH!" Ryoga screamed as the green beam hit him. He was in agony and clutched his butt where it had penetrated.

Akane stared at that. "Hey, stop picking on poor Ryoga, you bully!"

She drew forth Mallet-sama and, in the fashion she was accustomed too, she brought it down on the perverted alien's head. Only to have it stop scant inches from his head, followed by an invisible force ripping it from her grasp, then toss it away. She stared at the path said mallet took and then at the alien.

"Telekinesis, monkey. I can basically lift what you consider a tank and throw it with merely my mind." Akane began to sweat and shake as she slowly backed away from the alien.

The alien looked at her and grinned evilly. _Yes, this one deserves the Judgment as well._ She screamed in terror as that perverted ray gun was pointed at her. "It's probing time!"

* * *

Shampoo watched the shrine and waited. It was only a matter of time and she could get in there. Then the obstacle would be killed and Ranma would be hers.

* * *

Nabiki sighed and started to pace. _Okay, by now the party is in full swing. I will contact Nodoka afterwards and ask Kasumi to take this to her. If all else fails, I will get down on my knees and beg. _

_What is daddy thinking? Can't he and the other idiot see this won't work? If anything, they have pissed the Saotomes off even more? _

_Got to think. Got to think._

Nabiki headed for the medicine cabinet and swallowed two antacid. Time to see if the Zoo would take a pair of female pandas, no questions asked.

* * *

Happosai was beside himself with glee. He had managed to get into this party by Haruka saying he was with her. Makoto had agreed when she found out he was Haruka's grandfather, but let him know in no uncertain terms he couldn't glomp anyone.

He was so happy to be amongst all of the pretty ladies nearby, though. Yes, the child with the shitload of power was here as was a friend of hers...shit… she was a powerhouse too. Not to mention the blond with the Amazon hairstyle, though the guy with her seemed to be a weenie in comparison. _Damn, so many girls with power in one place…does Cologne-chan know? _Happosai nearly jumped out of his skin when he was taped on the shoulder. He spun to face who had done it. He hadn't even sensed them coming up on him. He looked at a woman, with long dark green hair. Her ruby eyes glinted with mischief.

"Do I know you?" Happosai asked. _Damn, not another possible Amazon. _

"No, and I wouldn't advise trying to steal my underwear, Happosai Tenoh," she said.

"Oh?"

"Yes." She bent over to whisper into his ear. "I don't wear any."

* * *

Ranma looked around at all of the milling, mixing people. He had seen Happosai earlier, but the pervert was behaving himself. Setsuna was talking to him and he did seem to be listening to her for a change. Some of the people he knew at school were here. So were his cousin, Naru, and her Mother, Yuri.

He sighed tiredly. Makoto was speaking to a few of her friends, including the freight train known as Usagi. She still kept running him over in the mornings.

What was even weirder, was her father and mother had come over and thanked him. Seems that, inadvertently, he had been helping her in getting to school early. He wondered idly who the guy with her was when he heard a polite cough from behind him.

He turned to see an older man with grayish black hair with an older woman. The man was about as tall as Ranma and his wife; well…she looked like and older version of his own mother, Nodoka. He idly wondered who they were when the woman glomped him. _Oh shit, not another fiancées mother. I'm married. I don't need this mess._

She held him at arms length and looked him over. "Well now, looks like No-chan was right. You are a manly specimen. Wouldn't you agree Tenma-chan?"

"Mariko-chan, let the poor boy go. You are scaring him witless, and he may not even know who we are, dear. You never did introduce yourself."

Ranma was staring at the older couple. His eyes widened when the old man bowed formally to him. Ranma returned it and was shocked by what he heard.

"Hello, Ranma. I am Tenma Saotome, your grandfather, and this is my lovely wife, Mariko. So how are you doing, son?"

* * *

Tatewaki Kuno glared at the man in gray before him. "Listen, peasant. I am Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue Thunder of Furinken high. You shall let me pass."

The guard just sighed at that. "Look, I am just following the orders of the people above me. They said that no one but the people on the invitation list are allowed to get in there. Also there is a list of people I am not to even bother asking my employers about letting them in, and you are near the top of said list. So piss off." The guard was hoping he kept this up. They had recently purchased high-powered stun rods, and this jackass looked like a prime candidate for the first test subject to ensure they worked properly.

"Truly, this is a dark day. Fear not, for I shall break the very spell that is clouding your mind and free you of Saotome's evil spell."

The guy just sighed again at the hardheaded kid. His team was so busy with Kuno, they didn't notice the clown and trained panda quietly walking into the temple. Nor did the guards on the other side since they were busy with a certain kendoist's crazy sister. They also failed to see a purple haired cat as it slowly walked onto the temple grounds, or the duck circling above.

* * *

Genma and Soun slid in quietly and started to look for Ranma. They spotted him easily as he talked to a blond in strange hair, and they assumed it was this Makoto that Nodoka had "forced" him to marry. Soun nodded at Genma and both had pretty much the same thoughts._ Good, he is distracted. But we need a bigger distraction to grab him. We wait for a rival to show up. Ryoga is due to show up soon.

* * *

_

P-chan sneezed as Akane carried him and ran like Hell. That damn perverted alien was still after her, but Ryoga managed to escape at least, and she knew he would come back and defeat the freak after her. She rounded a corner and spotted Ucchan's.

She ducked and hid behind a mailbox. Only to have said mailbox ripped from the ground and begin to float in the air. She saw legs and arms sprout from it and realized it was Tsubasa: the cross dressing master of disguise.

_Poor Tsubasa. Better him than me._ She thought as she took off.

* * *

Crypto had seen many strange things on this planet. A guy that could change into a pig topped his chart, but this was just as weird. He noted it was a male human, but he dressed as a female. Also, he was disguised as a mailbox as the locals called them. He merely pushed with his TK and sent the fellow skywards. He was after bigger fish after all.

* * *

Ukyo heard a scream of terror outside and ran. She was witness to Tsubasa going into LEO. Scratching her head, she just smiled and made her way back inside. At least her day was starting to look up.

* * *

Nodoka smiled, seeing her son meeting her parents. It was a long overdue reunion in her opinion.

"Hello, Nodoka, how are you today?" said a voice from behind her.

She turned and faced the speaker but no one was…she looked down and saw Happosai standing there holding a plate. He was behaving himself for once and was not glomping any of the women. She understood why he had done what he had done at the failed wedding. He had confronted her later to tell her that the curses don't cancel each other out…they mix. "Master Happosai, what brings you too this party?" she asked in a polite tone of voice.

"Simple, I was visiting with my granddaughter when she invited me to come. I saw it as an opportunity to make amends with Ranma for my past actions and…well, to ask a favor of him. Nothing illegal, mind you, just something to help my family out."

This intrigued Nodoka. "So, what do you need my son to do, Master Happosai?"

"It is very simple, Nodoka. Haruka Tenoh is the last of my line and well...I would like a blood heir...or some blood heirs if possible. However she... Well, she likes women better than men, so…"

Nodoka nodded. _Yes, this could be a good thing. More grandchildren to spoil, but…Ranma and Makoto haven't pillowed one another yet…hmmm…still grandchildren._

She chose her next words carefully so as not to insult Happosai. "Master Happosai, I am sure my son would gladly help you with the task you ask of him, but I only ask that you give him time with Makoto first. They are recently married and I wish to put this question to her as well as Ranma. This way, he isn't keeping a secret from her."

Happosai nodded at that. "Certainly. I can wait. I have a good century left in me and I understand your reasoning. Besides, you may need to instruct the boy in pillowing matters. We both know what Genma may have said on the subject."

* * *

Ranma laughed as Mariko recounted a story about Nodoka in her younger days as a demon hunter. She finished up and looked at Ranma. "And if the news is any indication young man…it seems you know a few things about demon hunting yourself."

Ranma stared at her and was about to deny anything, when she chuckled and spoke again. "Well, yes, I mean all the demons you killed in Nerima. That made the news and you haven't even had the training yet. Will remedy that AFTER your honeymoon."

Ranma stared at her, a small smile growing on his face. "Training?"

"Why, yes, in my family's style of martial arts demon hunting." Her grin grew as she saw his reaction. _Teaching him will be so much fun!

* * *

_

Naru tapped a microphone to speak. "Would Ranma and Makoto please come here; it's time."

The two teens made there way to where the stage was, and Naru handed them each a small black box. "Your rings."

Makoto blushed as Ranma opened his box and set the ring on her finger, his hand shaking at the nervousness he felt. She returned the favor and hesitantly they kissed; followed by cheering and clapping from the people around them.

Tenma Saotome growled at himself for letting his guard down. There was a knife at his throat as the man holding it spoke up.

"Ranma Saotome, you will divorce Makoto immediately and marry my daughter Ukyo or else your father here and your mother as well as you yourself will die. "

* * *

Ukyo smiled happily. She had called her father up about what she had learned and confirmed from Nabiki and it seemed to satisfy him. He hadn't called her back and things were quiet. Maybe she could put the mess behind her and try to get on with her life. She did miss Ranma and she did love him but…he loved her like you would a sister. Ukyo let out a sneeze. _Someone must be talking about me.

* * *

_

Genma and Soun surged forward at the same time aiming for Ranma. His back was too them looking at the guy talking about something, and it was a simple matter to grab and knock him out. Makoto screamed as they drug him away putting him in a large sack as they ran out. Genma utilized the final stage of the Umi-sen-ken to vanish completely from sight with his son, as Soun ran like hell in the confusion. He heard Shampoo screaming about obstacle killing and what must be Makoto screaming in fear.

_Oh well, she knew what she was getting in to.

* * *

_

Usagi stared as a man in a clown suit and a panda knocked Mamoru out and dragged him off. She was torn between helping him or Ranma's grandfather, when a purple haired girl appeared wielding two funny looking weapons and glaring at her. "You obstacle. Obstacle is for killing."

Usagi backpedaled from her as she raised one of the melon maces to strike. Usagi tripped and fell backwards, her foot flying up to intercept and knock the weapon from the girls grasp. Usagi scrambled backwards and to her feet running as Shampoo watched the mace hit the man holding a knife to an older man's throat, in the head. She turned slightly and saw Ranma was across the room from her and ran to him.

* * *

_Faster, have to run faster._ That thought was foremost in the mind of one Akane Tendo as the small alien chased her through Nerima. It just wasn't fair. He had that jet pack that let him keep up with her when his legs got tired and well she would DIE before letting that pervert use that gun to knock her up.

Ryoga was gone. The coward had run of and left her to fend for herself, which was the only explanation that made sense. She had found P-chan a little earlier and had grabbed him to keep him safe from the alien. Where was Ranma to save her? He always saved her. Oh wait, that's right, the bastard was no longer living in Nerima. She growled in frustration and then saw Nabiki crossing the street."

"Nabiki, help me!"

The middle Tendo daughter turned to face Akane. The girl was winded and tired from running it looked like and was holding…Ryoga, in his cursed form. Sure, she should tell her sister, but both Akane and Ryoga would blame Ranma and in a fit, destroy the Tendo home. Nope, no way would she do that.

Besides, even Kasumi figured it out with all the clues Ranma left. "What do you need, Akane?" she asked in her usual monotone voice.

"Stop the damn alien chasing me!" Akane frantically yelled out.

Nabiki looked at her puzzled "What alien? I don't see any alien."

Akane glared at her "The one right behind me."

Nabiki looked again. "No one there but some salary-man."

"Are you blind?" Akane screamed. She turned and saw…a guy in a suit with a briefcase. "Wh...?"

Nabiki walked away. "I don't have time to play with you now, sis. Got some stuff to do. Later."

Akane kept looking around as Nabiki walked off. The salary-man laughed out loud. Akane looked at him as he shifted. He turned into the alien that had been chasing her. P-chan's eyes bugged out at that as the alien spoke.

"Now then, where were we?"

* * *

The security guards outside turned and rushed into the temple. Right behind them, Kuno followed. Now was his chance, he would avenge the women Ranma had wronged and the heavens would truly smile on him.

* * *

Kodachi saw her chance as well and moved in. Soon, the harridans would be gone and Ranma-Sama would be hers and hers alone.

* * *

Ukyo's father sagged to his feet as the bonbori landed on his head knocking him cold. The other Kuonji ninja started forward when the security guards rushed in. The ninja engaged the guards and one went after Tenma.

Looks like negotiations had broken down.

The one after Tenma ran as fast as he could at the elderly gentleman, when a katana slashed at him. He ducked it as it stabbed through the air where his torso would be. He twisted and moved back to see Nodoka entering a kendo stance. "You will need to get past me to touch my father, Ninja. And that will be the last thing you will do."

He slowly moved, readying himself when he was blindsided. The last thing he heard before the wrecking ball smashed his side was something about roasting chestnuts.

* * *

The security guards were being decimated by the ninja. The guards were trained to limit civilian casualties in a situation like this. The ninja had no such restriction and it was showing. Kuno raced forward and spotted Ranma. He rushed at the teen as a purple blur slammed into him knocking him off his feet. Kuno noted it was the Chinese peasant girl. _Good, she has him pinned, now to finish him.

* * *

_

Minako started to rush forward to help Usagi when she saw the purple haired girl go for Ranma .She turned to help Ranma when a pair of arms grabbed her from behind and drug her away. "What the Hell?"

"Don't worry, Shampoo, I will get you out of here and to safety," Mousse said.

Minako turned to see who her savior was. He was Chinese wearing long white robes and was carrying her. "Who are you?"

"It's me, beloved, Mousse. I shall take you from Danger!"

_YesYesYesYesYesYesYes A knight to save me, the fair maiden._ She had already forgotten about the dangers her friends were in. _Well, I'm sure they can do fine without me.

* * *

_

Makoto ran at Ranma and picked the punch bowl up. Some insane idiot was now rushing him as he was pinned under some purple haired hussy. She dumped the contents of the punch bowl on them to get her off. She hadn't had a chance to change yet, and was desperate. "Get off my husband, you BITCH!"

Shampoo looked up at her and growled. "Ranma Shampoo Ai…. MEEEYOWWWW!"

_Oh Shit. Forgot about that._

"CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT"

* * *

Tenma growled at what was happening… The Kunos were here. The Amazon was here. And apparently, two people had been kidnapped. He hit a button on his watch. _Time to end this farce. There will be a reckoning because of this.

* * *

_

Shinji was in Heaven. He and his cameraman were catching EVERYTHING on the camera and they were broadcasting live as well. His networks rating would go through the roof when he saw the extraordinary: a boy had turned into a girl and a girl had turned into a cat…now the boy turned girl was running around, screaming in terror.

Usagi ran over to Ranma to try to get the damn cat off of him when the kendoist stopped her. "Stop, fair maiden, for I shall smite the demon sorcerer Saotome. I see now the depths of his evil…turning into the pig-tailed-girl to tempt me to loose my purity and thus my power."

"We have to get the cat off of him...er...her and fast, or else."

"Nay, the beast doth weaken him and. …What deviltry is this?"

She turned and stared as dark red gi wearing ninja entered the room. The other group stopped as the red ones attacked. Things were quickly degenerating.

Shinji could only think of one thing at this development: _Corner office!

* * *

_

Kodachi was staring at the scene. Ranma was the red haired girl. She had attacked Ranma, thinking that….but how? She had to leave to think…to plan how she must act. A billowing cloud of rose petals signaled her retreat.

* * *

Ranma ran into Makoto and she successfully pulled the cat off her husband. She tossed the soaked feline aside to comfort him and hopefully keep the Neko-ken at bay.

Ranma held onto the other girl and wept as the fear subsided.

Usagi turned and saw Kuno rush forwards for the kill. She ran, tripped, and slid under Kuno knocking his legs out from under him. He growled at her. "So, thou art in league with Saotome, I shall AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH."

The guard smiled _looks like the stun rod worked as advertised._

The Kuonji ninja grabbed the wounded they could and fled as the sounds of police sirens filled the air.

* * *

Akane slowly made her way home and into the house. She tiredly walked past Genma and Soun as they toasted the joining of the schools. Past Nabiki, who was crying in the fetal position in the corner and popping a few more antacid, and Kasumi whom was fixing dinner for the household.

She muttered the whole time, not bothering to take notice of any of this. "Damn pervert aliens. Trying to knock me up. I'll mallet the bastard just as soon as I figure out how to keep him from pulling it away from me… Let's go, P-Chan. We need a bath."

"WAH! Aliens are trying to impregnate my daughter!"

Genma got up and headed to the phone. He had some plans to make.

"Great, sis has lost it." Nabiki snapped out of her jag just long enough to say that, before memories of what she learned hit her. Maybe the news would help calm her down?

"Oh my, I think Akane has the holes wrong. An alien can't get you pregnant probing you there."

* * *

OMAKE

The senshi were all glaring at Setsuna as she calmly sipped her tea.

"Why didn't you warn us that this mess was going to happen Setsuna? Those idiots nearly ruined the TEMPLE!"

Rei almost screamed anger evident on her face. "As it stands now. Mamarou and Minako are missing and the future is in danger."

"No it isn't." replied Setsuna calmly.

"What?" The assembled Senshi said.

"1 Small lady is still with us. So the future isn't endangered. 2 Crystal Tokyo is fine. I did check on it and my older counterpart confirmed it. 3 There are no problems so relax,Rei you do know that worry causes wrinkles . Oh yes one last thing….Small Lady your Great Great grandmother needs to see you immediately she has a new technique for you to learn."

"Aiyahhhh! I almost am too too late. Must hurry to Nekohaten."

The other senshi stared at her as she rode away on her bicycle at speeds that Haruka would be proud of. The Senshi looked at each other then Setsuna. "Are you sure the future is safe?"

* * *

And thus chapter 6 is finished . Chapter 7 will deal with the aftermath of the above mess. Setsuna doesn't give a rats but about anything save Crsytal Tokyo and the idiots Twins plans won't affect that so she isn't worried about it. However she also knows the Saotome clan takes care of their own. Gwenma was able to get away with selling Makoto's apartment by the fact that he IS her father in law currently.The divorce has yet to go through.

I wish to thank the poeple at Shinjis board for there help with this fic and to you for encouraguing me in my endevor. I may posyt one of my FIRST fics here after this one is done ,or before. I am of two minds of it. Thank you for reading this once again

Typhonis


	7. Chapter 7

Wedded Bliss?

Chapter 7

I do not own Ranma1/2, Sailor Moon, or Destroy all Humans. This fic is written for fun.

* * *

"Yes yes yes yes." Shouted Mousse as he happily did a small dance. Cologne and Minako looked on in puzzlement as he danced around smiling.

"Shampoo loves me she said it herself."

Minako looked at him puzzled. He was cute, but needed glasses apparently. "Umm, my name is Minako, not Shampoo."

Mousse stopped and turned to face her. "Say WHAT!"

"My name in Minako Aino and it is a pleasure to meet you...Mousse, is it? Mind if I use the phone? I need to call home so my parents don't worry."

"Over there, child," Cologne said, a warm smile on her face. She looked at Mousse as he put on the coke bottle lenses.

"Thank you, Granny," she said as she made her call. Mousse continued to stare at her.

"Who's the Hell is that? That isn't my Shampoo; she's much too flat-chested to be her."

"What?" Minako said in a low voice, turning to face Mousse as he faced Cologne.

"Who is she, old mummy, and don't lie? My Shampoo has a bigger bust and I know her thighs are not that thi—"

WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!

"Baka...baka...baka."

Cologne's smile grew at that as Minako put the table down. She looked at the blond haired girl and asked. "Tell me, child, what do you know about Amazon marriage customs?"

* * *

Ramna carefully mopped up the last puddle of punch he could find and sighed. It was yet another party ruined by the fiancée brigade. Though it wasn't as bad as last time, but there were more ninjas this time. He looked over at his grandfather as he spoke to the shrine priest and sighed. It was his fault as it always was. He just couldn't get a break.

He noted that the blond woman—Haruka was her name—was helping to sweep up beside him. Happosai had told him she was her granddaughter, and from what Ranma had seen, she most definitely was. He had also said he had a proposal for him, but it could wait till later, when he and Makoto were settled in. Ranma idly wondered what it was when Usagi had one of her moments.

She made a grab for the punch bowl. But what was left spilled out. Ranma was ready to curse as it pooled around his and Haruka's feet. He then screamed as a forgotten stun rod, hidden under the table, worked one last time knocking Haruka and he onto the floor. Ranma had enough sense to grab her and roll under her to take the brunt of the shock. It also turned him male again before he passed out.

The assembled people were treated to the sight of the blond lesbian sucking the fruit punch out of Ranma's shirt while muttering. "Mmm, Ranko tastes fruity like I thought."

Happosai and Nodoka were both doing a little jig.

_Ranma is my true heir! I will officially name him such later...after my line is assured._

_Wah! My son is so manly, even devout lesbians desire him!_

Michiru and Makoto were both trying to keep their cool but it was very hard to do.

_I should be the one to suck the juice from Ranma's shirt. Wait, where did that thought come from?_

_Haruka if you don't stop...I will punish you.

* * *

_

Ami, Rei, and Hotaru, confronted Setsuna. "Okay, talk! Why didn't you tell us this was going to happen and why didn't you stop it?"

Setsuna looked at Rei and smiled. "A: this fight wasn't a threat to Crystal Tokyo, so why should I do anything about it? Chibi-Usa is safe. The future is set. So I decided to sit back and watch the floor show. B: I only look for threats to the Earth and the future. Mundane stuff does not appear on my radar, so to speak, so I can't see it unless it becomes a threat to the future."

The scouts stared at her as she sipped her tea. "But Mamoru is gone and…" Hotaru said.

Setsuna smiled as she interrupted her. "But Chibi-Usa is still here, see?" She pointed to the girl as she and Usagi helped try to untangle Ranma from Haruka. "So the future is safe."

* * *

Shampoo growled as she woke up. This was not good. She was in a cage, as a cat, where only her ancestors knew. The last clear thought she had before darkness overtook her was of meeting two other cats at the shrine both had crescent moons on there foreheads and they had attacked her. They also talked and... _Wait. Cats can't talk…can they, I mean I sure as hell can't talk…maybe something hit me? Messed my mind up? Must be the answer._

She looked around and saw all of the other animals moving to the rear of their cages in fear. She watched as a girl with brown hair looked around then spotted her.

"Joan, I have found you at last!"

And thus did Azusa of the Golden Pair get a new pet kitty.

May the Gods protect that kitty.

* * *

Akane screamed aloud from the furo and the Tendo household rushed there. Genma, Soun, Nabiki, and Kasumi were witness to the scene of a naked Akane on top of an equally naked Ryoga in the furo, her hands wrapped around his throat.

Soun began to wail. "Waaaaahhhhhhhh, my baby girl is having sex in the furo!"

Nabiki snorted. "No wonder she never liked Ranma and toted that damn pig everywhere. She's been screwing Ryoga blind and leaving Ranma out in the cold."

"Oh my, Akane. That isn't very proper. You and Ryoga will have to get married soon."

"But, Kasumi, it isn't what you think. I was bathing P-chan and well...he turned into Ryoga. And I...uh..."

Nabiki shook her head. "Yeah right, sis. You weren't as dumb as you made out to be. I bet you knew his secret the whole time. Well, to regain your honor, you'll have to marry the pig."

"But, Nabiki, this is all Ranma's…"

"Shut the Hell up, Ryoga! How the Hell is it Ranma's fault that you and my sister have been screwing around behind everybody's back? Just face it, pig boy, you and sis just got caught. Now it's time for you both to pay the piper." Nabiki growled out at Ryoga.

"What about that Alien? He is still running loose and…"

"There is no DAMN Alien, you idiots. Stop trying to change the subject. Get dressed; I'm sure Daddy can have you two married in a short amount of time."

Ryoga and Akane kept mouthing their objections as Nabiki walked out of the furo. She headed to her room to think. _Explains a lot. She knew and used his curse to sneak quickies with him. Lucky, she didn't get knocked up earlier; they might be trying to blame that on some non-existing alien._

She opened the door to her bedroom and spotted a large burlap sack on her bed. Nabiki slowly approached it and noted it was moving. She opened it to see a dark haired man inside glaring at her. "Thank you, miss, I have been in here for hours."

"Uh, no trouble… I'm Nabiki Tendo."

"Mamoru Chiba. Seems some clown thought I was one 'Ranma Saotome' and well...they grabbed me and put me in here."

_Cologne that damn water had best get here very damn fast or else...I will go postal!

* * *

_

"Thanks, Mom, bye." Minako turned to face Cologne once again. "Thank you for letting me use the phone. So, what are these Amazon marriage customs and…"

"There you are Minako!"

Both people turned to see a white cat walk into the room. He leapt up onto a table and faced Minako.

"I have been looking everywhere for you and I know Usagi is worried…sick….uhhhh!"

He looked at the smiling face of Cologne. "Meow? Meow meow?"

"A Maus! I haven't seen one in ages. It is indeed a pleasure to meet one of your kind here in Nerima. So, Miss Aino is your charge?"

"Yes, she is. I am her well advisor and …uh…"

"Do not worry. We Amazons know of the Sailor Senshi. The one known as Pluto has kept us aware of you for all of these millennia. "

"Ah, that's good. Glad to see that we do have allies other than Ranma."

"Yes son-in-law…I mean, the royal consort, is a good person to have on your side."

"Royal Consort?" asked Minako.

"Yes, we Amazons are descended from a military unit from the Jovian system. We owe allegiance to the Queen of Jupiter."

"Makoto is your queen? Wow!" Minako slowly drifted off in a fantasy of herself being a queen.

"What's this about Amazon marriage tradition?" Artemis asked.

"Well if an Amazon is defeated by an outsider of the opposite gender in combat...well, they give said outsider the Kiss of Marriage."

Artemis felt his stomach fall. "Who was damned fool enough to challenge that airhead?" he nodded at Minako who was giggling. Said airhead either hadn't heard the comment, or was too lost in the news to care.

"That idiot," Cologne said as a low moan drifted up from the floor.

* * *

Ranma sighed heavily as he sat on the balcony of the apartment he shared with Makoto. He looked up at the stars and wished this would last a bit longer, but he knew it wouldn't. It was only a matter of time now until he was cast out of the clan for what had happened earlier.

He heard the door open and close and someone silently pad towards him. He checked and noted it was Makoto. "Hey, Mako-chan."

"Hey, Anata. Why so depressed? It wasn't your fault that Haruka was well trying to eat your shirt. "

"No…. just waiting for grandpa to kick me out of the clan."

"What?" Makoto screamed. "Why would he do that?"

Ranma kept looking up at the stars, finding comfort in them. "Because I'm a no good, worthless boy. If it weren't for me, those people would have never crashed the party. Minako and Mamoru wouldn't have been taken, and Grandpa wouldn't have been threatened."

Makoto stared at Ranma in shock. _Ranma what did they do to you?_

Nodoka was also in shock hearing her son from where she was.

Ranma looked at Makoto, tears in his eyes. "You see, pops and Akane are right…so is Ryoga…this whole mess is all my fault. I am the one responsible for it. That's why grandpa will kick me out. I'm worthless."

"No you are not Ranma." Makoto moved closer to him wrapping her arms around him. "What happened was their fault, not yours, and of course your grandfather was angry. Your mother is as well. Those people up and ruined a special moment that our friends and family set up for us. It is their fault, not yours. Heck, your grandfather even had some security ready in case something happened."

"But the party was still ruined and I…"

"Ranma, it isn't your fault. You are not to blame. I love you and will not blame you for anything like that. Those people in Nerima were abusing you Ranma. Here, well…I hope to have a good relationship with you. You are loved here. Not like there, so put those thoughts from your mind, Anata. I'm here and you can rest on me if you want."

Makoto continued to hold Ranma as he started to cry. _This is not manly, men do not cry._

Nodoka turned from the site and headed for the phone. _There will be a reckoning, Ranma. There will be.

* * *

_

Kuno growled as he awoke and looked around. The peasants had confined him to a cage of all places. "Guard? GUARD!" he yelled out, causing the other prisoner to groan as he awoke.

The guard arrived and glared at the teen. "What do you want, stupid?"

"Release me at once, peasant! Do you know whom you are restraining?"

"Yep, someone who broke the law, like your friend over there. He is in the same boat you are in, and if you are smart you will stay there. I here the Saotome clan is in an uproar and that Tenma is seeking blood.

Tatewaki stared at the man. _Tenma Saotome? One of the richest men in Japan! Why, his family is as old as my own. Does Saotome's evil know no limits that he would desecrate not only a Holy place, but disrupt Tenma Saotome's joyous occasion?

* * *

_

Haruka sighed heavily as she sat down on the sofa. She was dog tired and ready to go to bed when the phone rang. She sighed as Michiru answered it.

Happosai slowly made his way down the steps muttering. "Setsuna doesn't have any silky darlings…."

She ignored it all when Michiru handed her the cordless phone. "Its for you…it's…your mother."

Haruka took the phone and sighed. "Hello, Mom, what's up?"

She quickly pulled the phone from her ear as she heard her mother yelling and crying. She pulled the phone back and was wincing. Michiru watched with some amusement as Haruka imitated a fish before saying. "Yeah I...I love ya too, ma, bye."

"What was that all about?" Michiru asked.

"Mom congratulated me on liking men…like that. It seems that the party made the evening news…."

* * *

Nabiki slowly made her way into the living room. She had just shown Mamoru out, as Kasumi was talking to Akane.

"Auntie was nice enough to send me home in a helicopter with an escort. I did see the strangest thing, though. An armed helicopter was chasing this poor delivery girl around when from out of nowhere...a mailbox with arms and legs hit it in the cockpit and knocked it out of the sky."

Akane stared at Kasumi and started speaking rapidly. "That was Tsubassa! He was hiding near Ukyo's and the Alien picked him up and just tossed him away using his mind!"

Ryoga nodded from where he was sitting. The wedding plans were on hold till he could reach his parents…wherever they were.

Nabiki glared at Akane. The girl just pissed her off to no end. Akane should have given her the engagement when she was porking Ryoga. Instead, she just egged him on. _I should be married to Ranma. I would have been an excellent wife for him. I can cook and listen and I would have been set for LIFE!_

_But most of all, I wouldn't be likely to have no chance at being rich from all the stuff this family is doing to me!

* * *

_

Ukyo hummed a little tune as she washed the counter down, waiting for the day's first customers to arrive. She looked up as the bell rang and stared in surprise as her uncle walked in. He had a slight limp and it looked like he was favoring his left side. He smiled at her warmly and bowed.

"Hello, Ukyo, it has been a while. Glad to see you are doing well."

"Uncle Toji! What happened to you?"

"Ran into a wrecking ball named Ranma Saotome yesterday."

He held up a hand to stop her from talking. "I am doing fine and well...it happened because your father couldn't get the idea of avenging you out of his head…though, I think he did it to avenge himself in his eyes."

Ukyo stared at him. "What did daddy do?" She felt a shiver go up her spine, knowing that it would most likely end up bad for her...again.

"Tried to hold Tenma Saotome hostage and force Ranma into marrying you. He was hit in the head by a flying mace. I went to help, and I think Nodoka thought I was going for her father and she intervened…Ranma blindsided me. Don't worry…Ranma is fine, and your father is in a cell…however, that is not why I am here. I have been asked by my father to ask you to aide us in arranging a peace with the Saotome's."

"How? I mean, they are angry with us and me to an extension."

"Tenma publicly stated to our council that you were innocent last night. So we want you to be our envoy to talk with Mariko Saotome. You will have help, and well...you will be told more when we have it set up."

"How is my daddy doing?"

"Okay, though I think he dented the bonbori with his head."

* * *

Hiro Kuonji stared at the TV as the events of yesterday played on it. He had awoken to this idiot blabbering about Ranma Saotome and it annoyed him to no end. Now he was watching as a cross-dressing blond was sucking on Ranma's shirt.

He couldn't believe everything that was happening. All he was doing was trying to help his daughter, Ukyo, get accepted into a nice family. He figured that it could work…Genma was trying to get the boy married to a Tendo and he knew about the plan for Ranma and Makoto. One-way to correct what he had done…he would register Ukyo as his daughter as soon as he could…but first…

"Truly, the evils that Saotome knows know no depths."

Hiro looked at the guy…Tatewaki was his name. "How so?" he asked.

Kuno looked at him like he was an idiot. "Are you blind, man? Can you not see how Saotome has aroused unnatural lust in that fellow?"

Hiro could only stare at him. _The kid is an idiot._

"That's a cross dressing girl, you fool."

"Varlet, that is a man! Can you not see the clothes he doth wear?"

"Idiot, can you not see the Adam's apple she is lacking?"

Kuno looked at the image of Haruka and backed away. "Ye Gods! Saotome's magic is such that he disguises those he misleads. Verily, I shalt smite him!"

Hiro looked at him. _Was he dropped on his head as a child? How could such an idiot be left to run around unattended?

* * *

_

Tenma Saotome grinned evilly as he watched the antics of the two cellmates. He looked at the police chief. "Anyway, you can keep them together? At least...till arraignment and bail?"

The man nodded. "Sure. Anything else?"

Tenma nodded and handed him a folder. "Have Mr. Kuonji read this. It will enlighten him about a certain someone."

* * *

Nabiki sighed heavily as she sat down at the table for breakfast. Ryoga and Akane were side by side and Genma was in panda form. Soun looked at her and smiled. "So Nabiki, where is your husband? Don't tell me you wore Ranma out last night?"

He and Genma laughed as the others looked at her questioningly. Nabiki sipped her coffee as she gathered her thoughts, then spoke. "No, Ranma wasn't here last night...and Mr. Chiba said you would be hearing from him later in the day. Apparently, someone kidnapped him and deposited him in my room. He is looking for help in catching the criminals responsible.

"Another thing. I am not married to Ranma, Daddy. I am divorced from him. I have the paperwork to prove it…married, nope no evidence of that, and you think I would know, wouldn't you?"

Her voice was approaching the same level of scream that Akane's would before she pounded Ranma. Genma and Soun stared at her in fear and shock as Nabiki very nearly did her own version of the demon head.

"Wha...what?" Soun screamed.

"You heard me, daddy. I have the divorce papers from Ranma, but no marriage papers. So leave me alone, because when Ranma gets his copy, well...all Hell will break loose as far as the Saotome clan is concerned."

She looked at Kasumi. "Still meeting with Auntie later?"

Soun and Genma looked at each other and Soun spoke low. "I know a judge who is friendly. We may be able to salvage something from this."

The panda nodded, glad the others couldn't hear over Nabiki's ranting at Akane's declaration of Ranma being a pervert.

* * *

_Ranma Saotome this is your entire fault. Because of you I have seen HELL! Hmmm you know that is therapeutic…maybe Lost boy on to something?_

Shampoo considered her situation carefully. After Azusa had adopted her she had been brought home and given a bath in cold water…her fur had been styled and there were bows in her fur…. pink bows. She was wearing a collar with Joan written on it and sitting on the idiots bed. She had given her the Kiss of Death for no other reason that such an idiot should not be sullying the gene pool. Yes, it was merely a lick as a cat but the spirit was the same and she would carry it out. She idly wondered whom this Elmira character was that Azusa was writing too.

* * *

Crypto was grinning evilly as he sat on the Tendo roof. He had heard what the oldest daughter had said the night before and was formulating a plan. He waited and watched, soon only Ryoga and Akane were left in the house. He watched as Rygoa wandered outside and quietly landed. He snuck inside, but made sure the Lost Boy could see him. He also checked the tracers he planted.

If I time this right…yes, the matron of the house is returning... time is of essence and well, the torture will continue.

Crypto pointed his ray gun at Akane and fired. She screamed around and spun to see him there, grinning. "I finally did it Monkey!"

"Did what?" she screamed at him.

"Knocked you up! You're pregnant girl, enjoy."

Ryoga dove at him and he jumped up and flew away. He hid as Kasumi made her way in to hear Akane yelling. "I'm PREGNANT?"

Crypto laughed aloud at the chaos that was erupting below him.

* * *

Kodachi was meditating on what she had learned. Ranma was the red haired harlot…. Now she knew why he had avoided her. She had been attacking him when he was the …girl. To think of what he had gone through and what she had added to…to think of the times he must have tried to tell her what was going on…

She sighed heavily at the other information she had been given, courtesy of one Nabiki Tendo. He was an heir to the Saotome family, He was married to one Makoto Kino, arranged through their mothers, but Nodoka wasn't adverse to the ideas of a mistress.

Maybe that was the way to go.

Yes, a mistress! Why, she would still have her Ranma-sama, and gain a sister she could be with…maybe two…Nabiki didn't seem to be so bad. It would also drive Tatewaki crazy, since she could keep the red haired girl from him.

"Sasuke!"

"Yes mistress?" he asked as he appeared in her room.

"I need you to arrange a formal meeting with Nodoka Saotome. I need to formally ask her a few things and to apologize for my past…misdeeds."

The ninja nodded and left.

* * *

OMAKE

Hotaru arrived home to quite the sight. Haruka-papa was sitting beside Michiru-mama and was frowning as Michiru-mama was reading a pamphlet of sorts. A blond-haired older woman was talking to Mrs. Saotome, and they seemed to be enjoying the chat while Haruka-papa got more and more depressed.

She quietly walked over to Setsuna and asked the obvious question. "Setsuna-mama, what's going on? "

"Oh, just something her mother has planned. Should be very interesting to see how it develops. So be quiet and watch the show. You could get a pair of new mamas and a new papa out of the deal."

Haruka growled as her mother squealed with joy, and then she looked at Michiru who was reading the pamphlet.

"What is that?" asked Haruka.

"Something that may make me go after Ranma Saotome...if we can talk Makoto into it; look here."

Haruka read it some and Hotaru saw her jump up. "Wait, a new car? Help with school? Martial arts lessons from Ranma himself?"

Michiru smiled evilly. "Swimsuit shots of both forms on the next page."

Nodoka looked at the woman. "See, your daughter loves the idea, and it means more grandchildren for us to spoil if her two house mates join in the fun. I mean, look at the older one, she definitely needs someone to date, so why not my son?"

"What about their adopted daughter?"

"What about her? She can help baby-sit, and it will give her a few siblings to play with, and Ranma can have some experience with being a father. Win-win-win situation."

Hotaru watched as blood shot out of Haruka's nose as she passed out. Wondering what she had seen, Hotaru picked up the pamphlet and looked at the image of Ranma-kun...in a Speedo...

Hotaru soon followed Haruka to the floor, her blood shooting from her nose as well.

Nodoka smiled. "Well, maybe even four for four, we just need to let her get a little older, and feed her a little more. She doesn't look strong enough to last a single round with my son."

* * *

OMAKE #2

Setsuna had not seen this.

After arriving home from the party where Usagi had tripped, electrocuted herself and Ranma, and spent the next few minutes eating his shirt which followed her licking his now bare chest, she was ready for a rest.

She had not expected to see a drunken Usa sitting in her favorite chair with a gun in her hand. "Hello, Puu."

"Hello, Little Lady, why are you here?"

She laughed. "Well, I was wondering. I saw my supposed daddy drool at Ranma-chan, and yet I didn't fade. Mom as much as tried to give his whole chest a hickey, and I didn't flicker. So, who is Ranma: my real Daddy or my real Mommy?"

"Little Lady, I fail to see—"

Her statement was cute off by the gunshot that grazed her arm.

"DAMN IT, PUU! I know he's related to me somehow. I mean, neither my supposed Mom nor Dad has red hair, so how is mine pink? Also, how the hell am I an only child if they've been together for millennia? So, you better start talking, and fast!"

Setsuna was scared. How exactly was she supposed to tell Usa the truth, when she didn't know.

After all, her own daughter had yet to tell her why she had blue eyes, not red.

Wait, blue eyes...

DAMN IT! Ranma's her father!

Meanwhile, said Ranma was sneezing his head off, as Makoto and Nodoka made him yet another bowl of chicken soup to chase away the obvious cold.

* * *

And another chapter is done. The next one may be a little late but you can blame the heat on that. I wish to thank everyone whom has helped me with this, Whom has read this and whom has reviewed this. Crypto will not show up till the end of the fic. I am also brainstorming a few other fics and will start on them as soon aas this one is done. I may not continue Ultimatum...Heck never inteded to do more than one chapter for it anyway.. So if someone wantss to take the idea and run amok with go right ahead. Keep reading and reviewing,thank you once again. Typhonis. 


	8. Chapter 8

Wedded Bliss?

Chapter 8

I do not own Ranma1/2 or Sailor Moon. This fic is written for fun.

* * *

Azusa smiled as she took Joan to the bathroom for her bath. She carefully removed the collar and set the non-struggling kitty in the water. Joan then leapt up and hit the rod in the bathtub causing hot water to rush in.

Azusa stared in horror hoping her kitty wouldn't be hurt when she…. shifted. She grew longer and her fur disappeared. Now she was eye to eye with a grinning young woman.

"Nihao!"

"Joan?"

"Yesss?" the woman said as she calmly reached for the strait razor that Azusa knew her father used.

"Uh, so you can do the same trick that Charlotte can?"

"Yesss." She was testing the edge and her smile grew.

"What are you doing?" Azusa asked as she began to back away from the crazy looking woman.

The woman's grin grew feral as she leapt at the startled girl.

* * *

"Your Honor, I humbly ask that you aid my daughter in this time of need. She is recently divorced and well...the courts have yet to allocate funds from her marriage to help her, and she is scared. My friend here, Genma Saotome, can attest to the fact that she is worried about loosing her home before the alimony comes due, since it is a separate trial."

"Is this true, Mr. Saotome?"

"Yes, your Honor. I have seen his daughter, Nabiki Tendo, a nervous wreck about her home. She has been crying and has had stomach troubles to the point where she has taken large amounts of antacid, as well as exhibited signs of too much stress. I have here a statement on my son's finances that should help you with your decision."

"Mr. Tendo I am sorry but the court cannot help you in this matter. For it to be successfully settled you are required to bring all of the financial information at hand on the subject also Mr. Ranma Saotome would have to be present along with council and his legal guardian or the head of his clan. Since neither is present my hands are tied."

Genma and Soun bowed to the judge as they left the courtroom. They were frowning in frustration. Things were not going as planned.

The judge watched them go. "Contact the district attorneys office and tell them we may have a fraud case on our hands here."

* * *

Nodoka was shaking as she read over the papers Kasumi had given her. Both she and Nabiki were sitting across from her and well, to be blunt, were scared spitless at the sight of her battle aura, as Nabiki almost seemed to be moving herself behind her sister. They had been made to wait till now by Ranma's mother, as she had assumed the middle Tendo had something to do with this.

And her opening statement about red light districts had scared Nabiki shitless, indicating to Nabiki that those days of dreaming of being a fast food employee would be a pipe dream if she did not like what she heard.

_They DARE try this shit now? Marrying Ranma to Nabiki in this manner? What kind of idiots are they? I will show this to father. Time for a family meeting…hmmm, mother wants to spend some time with Ranma and Makoto, this will work out well… Well, it certainly has been a peaceful two days…sorry to see it end._

Nodoka took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She looked up at the two girls and saw their pale faces. "I thank you for bringing this to my attention, Nabiki. I am glad that at least ONE member of the Tendo family—other than Kasumi here—has a sense of honor. I take it the wedding plans for Akane are underway?"

Nabiki released the breath she was holding, feeling the need to wet her pants diminish. "Yes, Auntie, they have been made ready. We just need Ryoga's parents' signature, since he is still a minor under Japanese law."

Nodoka nodded. "Good. When that is done, I shall see to it you are removed from the Tendo family and placed in a better one. I do not want to see this…shit...catch you when it buries your father."

* * *

Ranma walked to Setsuna's office with a puzzled look on his face. He had no idea why he was summoned and well he hoped it wasn't too bd. He walked in to see her sitting behind her desk frowning at a man in a business suit with a briefcase. He bowed to her and the man. "I'm here, Meio-Sensei, what do you need?"

She looked at the man. "Well, he is here like you wanted. You may now conduct your business with him, but I will be watching."

He nodded and handed Ranma a folded piece of paper. "Mr. Ranma Saotome, consider yourself served."

Ranma watched in shock as he calmly walked out of the room. _What the Hell is this about?_

Setsuna was already on the phone dialing a number. She watched as Ranma looked at the paper in shock and horror. "Yes, I wish to speak with Tenma Saotome. Tell him it is Meio at Juuban High, and it concerns his grandson Ranma Saotome."

* * *

Makoto looked over at Ranma as he picked at his bento. She knew he was troubled. To think, Soun would try something like this. Nodoka had shown them the papers, but she never imagined that they would do this. She slowly scooted over and put her arm around him. "Anata…I know this isn't your fault. I'm here for you."

Her only response from him was his leaning into her a little more.

* * *

Soun looked at Genma and frowned. They were headed home after the failure in court. "This is not going well old friend….we may need to start using the money again and I am sure that the statue of limitations has not ran out on it."

"How much is left old friend?"

"Almost 490 million yen last time I checked…. who knew trying to launder the master's ill gotten cash would be so hard."

"Why not claim its Kimiko's family's money?" Genma asked.

"You know the government has careful records of such funds. Why we would have to pay taxes on it and then where would we be? No old friend out plan of using the dojo to launder it is the best one yet."

* * *

"So, Akane, what will you name the baby?" Nabiki asked.

"It isn't Ryoga's baby!" Akane yelled at her

"Really? Then who's is it? Kuno's? Hell, will you start claiming its Ranma's now to further hurt him?"

"No, it was that damn alien who knocked me up!"

"So, it is Ryoga's," Nabiki said smirking.

There was a knock at the door and Kasumi went to answer it. "Hello welcome to the Tendo dojo."

Her eyes widened at the sight. A dozen people of all ages were standing out front. All had large backpacks and all of them wore yellow and black bandanas.

"Hello Miss Tendo. I have found out that my son might be here." The woman looked to be in her early 40s and was apparently the speaker for the group. "Is by any chance my son Ryoga here?"

* * *

Haruka glared at the telephone. If looks could kill the woman on the other side would be atomized but…well it was Haruka's mother and the news she had was well disturbing.

"What do you mean dinner with the Saotomes? Huh? Nodoka's idea? The woman is nuts….yes mother, however I have met her and she is nuts about grand children and Ranma hasn't even slept with Makoto yet. You would think Makoto would have said something about them doing THAT by now even if it was too ruffle Minako's feathers…I….I….. What do you mean I could help him train for pleasuring Makoto? I only do girls mom…yes mother he does turn into a girl with water I ….I…. I love you two. Bye"

Haruka hung the phone up and glared at Michiru. "Not one word….not one damn word or else I will call your mother up and tell her about this opportunity."

Michiru couldn't hold it any longer and began to laugh aloud Setsuna smirked and smiled at Hotaru. "You may get a younger sibling yet…or two."

As Haruka was about to dial and make good on her threat, the phone rang. Checking the caller ID, Haruka smiled and handed Michiru the phone. "But I think Nodoka got to her first."

Michiru paled as she picked the telephone up hearing a squeal of joy on the other end. _How the Hell did she get that number?_

_

* * *

_

Cologne heard the bell ring and saw Shampoo stalk into the Nekohanten. She clutched a thing of brown hair in her hand and was grinning. "Where have you been child?"

"Because of Airen, Shampoo see Hell! It all Airen fault Shampoo get in that mess. If he be good Airen he take Shampoo home to China, but noooo, has to chase foreign bitches…this scalp of foreign klepto bitch…. Shaved head so she learn not to mess with Amazon again! "

Cologne watched as she headed to her room. _Herbal tea with a nice tranquilizer is needed and a few visit to Doctor Tofu._

_

* * *

_

Ranma sat down heavily in a chair. He was tired from the question and answer period he had had earlier with the assistant D.A. and it showed. Fortunately it had gone easily but was wearying on him. The family lawyer had shown the legally notarized copy of the divorce decree and that was that, other than some questions.

He was slowly dozing off when he felt a weight settle in his lap. His eyes snapped open and he saw a smiling Makoto sitting there. "Well Anata I see you're home. Dinner will be ready soon and it's just us tonight."

Ranma smiled at that glad for a quiet evening for once. "So, ready for the trip this weekend?"

"Not yet, Anata. I need a new gi before we can go. But that's it."

Ranma nodded. "Great then after it's over with maybe we can stop by a love hotel for some ice-cream….uh Makoto? Makoto are you feeling ok?"

"Uh, Ranma, do you know what a love hotel is?"

* * *

Akane sat there forlornly as Ryoga's mother recounted some of her travels to Kasumi. "We then met this nice young man on this army base. We were their a few days and had a bit of a party since we did meet their…. anyway he was kind of pale, grayish you might say, with largish eyes. He was a doctor I believe and gave us all a free checkup and even said that if we run into him again why he might even have a cure for our directional curse."

Nabiki looked at Akane and poked her in the side. "I can't believe you sis. That is ever so low. Blaming some poor lost American tourist for what you and Ryoga did. Have you no shame?"

Akane slowly sank further into the sofa. _This isn't fair. Ranma is the one who gets into trouble not me….why is it happening now? What Kami did I anger?_

_

* * *

_

Setsuna was looking over Ranma's life in the Time Gates. _Goddess, didn't that poor child catch a break once?_ So far she saw why he had acted the way he had. She also understood that some psychological counseling was in order. She then tuned in on what mischief the idiot duo may have done since Ranma left the Tendo home and stared.

_They didn't. Don't they realize what this will do to them? By the Goddess they can't be this stupid. Selling her apartment?_

Setsuna teleported away from the gates and to the home she shared with the Outers. She noted that Haruka and Michiru were watching the TV and that Hotaru was doing homework. She quickly picked the phone up and dialed a number.

"Hello Makoto? Yes, Ranma, I'll hold…Makoto your apartment was sold by Genma; thought to give you the heads up since you will be thrown out by the end of the week. He did it as your father-in-law since the divorce hasn't finalized yet. Okay, good fortune."

She hung the phone up and sighed. There was nothing she could do about it but…well; she knew that Tenma and Nodoka had a place for the couple to live till this mess was sorted out. She only hoped the idiot duo didn't do anything else to piss the Saotome family off.

* * *

Ukyo was scared…crapless...to be exact. Sitting across from her was the head of the Blood Dragon Ninja clan. A man, whom it is rumored, served the Emperor personally as a _troubleshooter_… and was one of the wealthiest men in Japan. She took a sip of her water and tried to compose herself as Tenma Saotome looked at her.

"Miss Kuonji, I understand that you are good friends with my grandson?"

Ukyo looked at him. "I am not sure. Saotome-domo. What is his name?"

He waited till she was drinking a bit more water. "Why, Ranma Saotome, of course. Didn't you know that Genma was brought into the clan? Though he has been kicked out recently and my daughter, Nodoka, has been given custody of Ranma during his minority."

Ukyo's eyes grew wide with shock, the sudden fear in her silencing even the automatic reaction to do a spit-take.

"Now then, as to your fathers actions as of the party we were holding for Ranma and his wife, Makoto. I can understand the feelings behind them, since he felt it was a matter of honor and he had hoped to resolve it. I have also felt that it would be prudent that he be made aware of what could have happened to you if Genma had allowed you to go with Ranma on the rest of the training trip."

Ukyo looked at Tenma puzzled. "What do you mean, Saotome-san?

His face was neutral as he slid a manila envelope to Ukyo. "Read it for your self."

* * *

"Wahhh! I'm so happy. My baby girl is married!"

Soun wailed as Ryoga's mother poured him another glass of sake. They had just signed the marriage papers and there was a small party going on at the Tendo dojo. Even Nabiki was partaking of the alcoholic beverages and enjoying herself. The 'happy' couple was trying their best not to blush as they were congratulated by the people there. A few of Akane's school friends were present as well, giving her their support. Things were going fine till the front door caved in.

"I shall not allow it!" screamed Kuno as he ran into the room. He pointed his bokken at Ryoga.

"Thou shalt not wed the fierce tigress Akane without the blessing of Tatewaki Kuno. For as I had told the foul sorcerer, Saotome, so say I to thee. Nay thou may not wed her."

"Too late, Kuno-baby," Nabiki said. Her movements were a little disjointed from the sake she had drunk.

"It's a matter for the Habiki and Tendo clans. So butt out of it, bokken-for-brains. Sides, pig-boy there is already sleeping with her and has knocked her up."

"WHAT!" he screamed as Akane and Ryoga paled.

"You heard me; she's knocked up, pregnant, got a bun in the oven, with child. So there! They are married and you have no say in the matter."

"I ATTACK" he screamed and lunged at Ryoga.

"Strike, strike, strike, strike, strike!" yelled Kuno as he pressed his attack on Ryoga. The eternally lost boy staggered backwards and tried to lead him out of the house.

Kasumi glared at Nabiki. "That was mean, little sister."

"Sure was! But the idiot had to learn about it some time so better now than later. Also if that bitch of a sister of mine had just passed Ranma off to me as soon as she started to sleep with Ryoga. Things would be better. If daddy wasn't such a fucking idiot and followed Panda ass all the time things would be different but NO . Things are not different so leave me the hell alone for now!"

Nabiki staggered back some then looked around the room. The sounds coming from the yard grew as the fighting continued.

"At last! " she yelled everyone turned to look at her. Momentarily distracted from the fight. "Marmalade!" Her point made she passed out cold.

* * *

Makoto sighed happily as she got out of the bath. It always made her feel better washing the day's work off of herself at the end of said day. Things had been quiet with no youma showing up, so she enjoyed it while it lasted. All she had to do now was wash the supper dishes and turn in.

She heard noises coming from the kitchen and went to investigate, her hand holding her henshin wand just in case. What she saw surprised her somewhat. Ranma was in his girl form and was busily washing the dishes. She was finishing them up when Makoto coughed. The redhead spun to face her and stammered when she saw her.

"Uhh...hey, Mako-chan...I was, well…you were in the furo and well…I uh…well you cooked dinner, so I thought to wash up the dishes." Ranma stammered as she scratched the back of her head nervously.

Makoto smiled as she walked up to her, mischief in her eyes. "Thank you, Anata."

She leaned forward and kissed Ranma. They both slowly got into said kiss when a polite cough came from the living room. Both girls turned and blushed brightly seeing Nodoka and her mother; Mariko, standing their. Nodoka grinned.

"Do not stop on our account, children. Just take it to your bedroom."

* * *

Omake

Haruka and Michiru sat in Makoto and Ranmas home in silence as the three older women spoke... may the Kami have mercy on the two sailor senshi.

" However if Michiru is to become pregnant it has to be soon before her concert in November or far enough in advance that the child is born before said concert."

"Well we could claim my daughter, Haruka is her husband so that their is no problem...and she does thankfully play the violin."

"Clothes shopping girls, they both need maternity wear though finding an outfit for Haruka will be hard given the tomboy she is ...and we will need to shop for Mako-chan"

" We may also need for them to be married sometime this fall so that any children will appear legitimate at the college they decide to attend"

* * *

To all my fans, sorry about this but life had bit me in the butt. Was laid off at the beginning of August and managed to get a new job at the end of it. The work cuts somewhat into my time but I will try to get chapter 9 out as soon as possible. A few more fics may be headed your way one being a Dragonball z crossover.

Thank you for readfing and reviewing this.

Typhonis.

BTW you get a No-Prize if you can guess where the marmalade joke came from.


	9. Chapter 9

Wedded Bliss?

Chapter 9

I do not own Sailor Moon , Ranma ½ or Destroy all Humans . This fic is written for fun.

* * *

Kuno growled in anger as he paced the cell he was stuck in. Three weeks and the peasants had dared to tell him that he was not allowed to leave. Some balderdash about violating the bail agreement by attacking the Hibiki cur for not only wedding but also sleeping with the fierce tigress Akane Tendo. How the Heavens must weep at this travesty of Justice. Surely they would aide him in his noble endeavor.

Kuno idly noted that his former cellmate was gone. He put it out of his mind as to what had happened to the man. After all, he WAS merely a peasant. Putting that thought out of his mind he started planning how he would deal with Saotome for his crimes.

* * *

Ukyo smiled as she cleaned the counter of her store. Soon after being released on bail her father had reinstated her a woman on her families register and he was making amends to the Saotome family; his first act was to annul the engagement between Ranma and her. She shuddered as she remembered some of the things Genma had done on the training trip to Ranma, and she had even gone to a local shrine to thank the Kami that the greedy fool had left her behind; no one deserved what Ranma had gone through, NO ONE. She also found it humorous that Akane and Ryoga had finally been caught. She'd always known that Akane was smarter than she had let on, but eventually even the smartest of individuals got caught up in their carefully constructed lies. '_Damn it, Akane. You should have just stepped aside and let me marry Ranma . You did have my cousin, Ryoga, you slut. Now everything is lost.'_

A cry came from outside her shop and she looked. Asuza of the Golden Pair was chasing a kitty down the street when she tripped and fell. The wig on her head fell off and she quickly put it back on before resuming her chase of said cat. "Come back here Annette! I only want to show you my love!" '_OKAY I…think Ill close up the shop and head to the park…..the cleaning stuff must be messing with my head.'

* * *

_

Shampoo growled as she worked at the Nekohanten. Cologne had absolutely forbidden her from leaving the store unescorted, save for deliveries, for three weeks. She was also told in no uncertain terms that she would formally apologize to Makoto Saotome, and that the outsider girl was NOT an outsider girl. She was an Amazon, and that since Ranmas mother had made the arrangement before going to Jusenkyo. Her Airen was Makotos since he was born, and thus not her Airen but the Airen of another Amazon. And that by their own laws! She felt like banging her head against the wall in frustration. It was so unfair. First too lose the competition to an outsider. She was fated to be the Queens guardian. Then to lose such a good husband to an outsider, who was _not_ an outsider… Arrrghhh. She knew that somewhere some Kami or the other was laughing their tail off at what she was going through, and when she found out which one she would have her revenge.

There was only one upside to this whole mess. Mousse could no longer chase after her. She fondly remembered the day she had found out…

* * *

**Flashback two weeks 5 days earlier**

A low groan came from the steps to the upper floor of the restaurant; She had a picking point with Mousse. Lately he had not been helping her as he should. She had asked her great-grandmother about it but the Elder merely smiled at her and said he was performing his 'duties' to his new wife. '_Wife? When did that blind idiot get married?'_ she idly wondered as the myopic Amazon dragged himself into an empty chair and lay his head down on the table. She was about to berate him when he spoke up. "Man, she is insatiable….how the Hell can she keep going like that… I mean she is killing me here… I… uggghhh… my poor Xian Puu how this must tear her up…"

'_Maybe things are not so bad after all?'_

"What's wrong Mu Tzu? Someone has been giving you a workout?" Mousse slowly turned to face her and her smile grew at the exhausted look on his face. "Xian Puu my love … it's horrible. I am in Hell."

"Do tell." Said Shampoo as her mood started to improve.

"She can go for hours and I mean it is sex, sex, sex, all of the time. If this keeps up she is going to kill me and…"

"Mu-mu-channnnnnnn" a feminine voice said from upstairs. Mousse had a look of total horror on his face as he turned to see Minako wearing a blanket, and only a blanket. She smiled at him in a very seductive way. "Come back to bed, Mu-mu-channnn. I wanna cuddle my ducky-wucky." "Dear Goddesss, no! Please not that any more! Any more and I'll die." Shampoo grinned evilly. "Now, Mu Tzu, you know you really should do as your wife tells you. It is only proper for an Amazon male."

* * *

**Present Day Nekohanten**

Oh well, at least he was out of her life. The only other good news was that Akane had married Ryoga… they had caught them in the furo together naked. Well she hoped the pig boy was enjoying himself now… course she now hated Akane if for anything… she should have stepped aside and let her have her Airen. Though it did in its own way prove she wasn't a lesbian.

* * *

Dr. Tofu went over the test results one last time. The results were the same as the 4 times before. He picked the telephone up and dialed a certain number. " Hello Nabiki it's Doctor Tofu, I have your sister's test results back and I will tell them to your family…tonight sound good OK I'll be there."

* * *

Ranma checked the campfire as he set the large kettle over it and sat back. He looked to one side and watched his grandmother teach Makoto, his wife, a new kata. So far they had been out here for a week training and getting to know each other better. He was watching the fire since someone should, and he would glance over at Makoto as she trained ever so often.

They had kissed a few more times since that one time, almost every chance they could, but he was still nervous around her. After all the time spent in Nerima and the Tendo home he still partly equated intimacy with pain.

He was thankful Makoto was so patient and understanding even after Minako had shown up married… to Mousse of all people.

Ranma had noted the myopic Amazon had seemed very tired for some reason but… well he was following village law. Apparently yes, the two were having sex, and Minako was…. insatiable? Something like that, and it had made some of the inner scouts blush. And they were, according to his wife, boy-crazy…

Ranma sat there meditating on the scouts and his role with them. He also wondered why Mamoru Chiba was giving him death glares … it was an honest opinion on what he did….

* * *

**Juuban, two weeks earlier**

The Youma roared and threw a car at the Senshi, which made them scatter. Jupiter turned to Mercury "So where is that things weak spot?"

"The head, all we have to do is hit it." The senshi of Mercury reported.

"Great." Mars said, "How will we do that when it keeps dodging and weaving like that?"

Her question was answered when a black bundle of energy landed on top of the creature. He poked it with a finger "Bakusai Tenketsu."

The inners were witness to the creature loosing its head literally exploding as Ranma did a back flip off of it. He walked over to them. "Hey guys, that's one Youma gone."

Sailor Moon looked at Ranma and posed. "Thank you, kind sir. You should be rewarded for such and endeavor, don't you think so Sailor Jupiter?"

Jupiter was trying to keep from grinning and blushing "Yes he should. HE most definitely should be rewarded for aiding us in our time of need."

Ranma nervously scratched behind his neck. "Well...um...I really can't you see I am trying to remain faithful to my wife and…"

Jupiter spoke up again, her smiled widening and turning a bit evil. "Well if she is watching I believe that she will reward you, handsomely for your efforts and for remaining loyal."

Ranma nodded and picked a rock up. "Thanks for the...um...offer though."

He threw it into a nearby tree and hit someone. Tuxedo Mask had fallen out, and Ranma yelled at him. "Next time, help or leave, penguin boy!"

* * *

**Present day**

Ranma sighed at that. It had been the truth. Idiot didn't even help out save to act as a cheerleader; a fucking male cheerleader to boot. How idiotic was that? Even his mother didn't consider it manly, and that was saying something, as she considered most male super-heroes as very manly.

Thinking of his mother, Ranma had to sigh once more. Apparently she was trying to set him up with two other girls…they wouldn't be fiancées. No, these were mistresses. Apparently their families liked the idea of them having some heirs.

He sighed again; he knew that Haruka and Michiru were also against this idea but…well, their families seemed to like it, and well Mariko, his grandmother, had given him a novel solution for it…but he didn't want to have kids till he was ready to be there for 'em… he would NOT be like the panda.

He looked up to see the two women approaching him. He got the food out and used the hot water to prepare it for them.

* * *

Makoto smiled tiredly as Ranma handed her the MRE, though it was not up to her standards. It was a meal easily prepared and they didn't need to worry too much about perishable items just potable water. She hungrily ate it down as Mariko spoke up.

"Well, grandson, have you given any thought to my idea on how to help Haruka and Michiru out?"

Makoto grinned as she remembered teasing Haruka, later, about her action at the party. She listened carefully to what Ranma would say next. He scratched his neck before speaking. "Well, I would do it, BUT I'm not ready to be a father yet, and I only had Oaji as a role model…you see, I want to be there for the kids and well…I want to do what's right, and I figure I should let Makoto go first since she is my wife and all."

Makoto nearly choked on her food when she heard the last part and tried to keep the blush from her face. She smiled at the thought of Ranma considering her first in this and knew he still had trouble with being close and as for sex…she was working on that; undoing the damage a certain blue haired girl in Nerima had done.

"A wise answer, grandson, and I take it you want Makoto to be able to chase her after school dream as well. A cook is it?" Mariko asked.

Makoto nodded. "Yes, with some demon hunting since...well...demon hunting doesn't pay that well, I need a regular income source."

Mariko nodded at that. "Well, child, you can expect help with that from our family. You are family now and are a welcome addition too it. I expect that when we return, the moving should be complete, and you can get used too you're new home."

Both teens nodded as Mariko smiled. "Well now, after dinner, Ranma, we will start your training."

He nodded; she waited for the right moment. "After all, your female form will be an excellent opponent of Shikima."

Mariko did her best not to laugh out loud as both teens choked on their food. Teasing the young was oh so much fun.

* * *

Cryptospiridium 137 entered Orthopox's lab and saluted his superior.

"Reporting as ordered, boss."

Orthopox regarded him. "Did your mission go well?"

"Yes sir, located 136, disposed of the remains, and tormented those that had well poisoned his memory records."

"Good, good, I have a new mission for you. This will require some stealth on your part, but will be rewarding."

"What's the job?" Crypto asked.

"You will return to this Nerima place and set up a base of operations their. Once active you will then integrate yourself into the community so we can discern what technology the humans may have gleaned from the saucer that crashed in the United States."

Crypto scratched his head. "Why Nerima? It's across the ocean from there?

"Given how long it has been since the crash the technology may be used by the humans and may be widely dispersed, so you may encounter it in Nerima and Japan. Furthermore, from your own report, the inhabitants of Nerima seem to ignore the unusual as it were, and you will have a bit more freedom in your actions."

"Sounds cool. When do I start?"

"Immediately."

* * *

Dr. Tofu looked over the assembled members of the Tendo, Hibiki, and Saotome families. He paused, gathering his thoughts, before speaking. "I have some news from Akane's blood work. She is NOT pregnant. I repeat; she is not pregnant. None of the hormones associated with pregnancy are in her bloodstream currently."

Akane let out a war whoop of joy. "I knew it! That damn alien did it and…."

Kasumi cut her short. "It is good you aren't pregnant, little sister, but it is also good that you and Ryoga are now married. Given how often you two were doing it, it was only a matter of time before he impregnated you."

Ryoga wisely kept quiet at that point. Most of the people here were accepting of his marriage. He was also glad he was married to Akane and well...

Nabiki had a small smile as she looked at Genma and Soun. Cologne had told her it would only take one more dosing of panda water to permanently lock Genma as a panda and her father would need two…. Then it was off to the zoo.

Soun was about to comment when a cry went out. "Sweeto!"

Happosai bounded in and looked at his currently prostrate students. "Master, it is terrible...horrible," Genma started.

Happosai puzzled asked a question. "What has happened?"

Soun spoke up. "Ranma has abandoned this school! He ran off and married some girl from Juuban. It is horrible He must be taught a lesson!"

"Yes, Master, you must teach him a lesson in not uniting the two schools!" Genma added. _'This will work; sic the Master on Ranma.'_

Happosai looked at the two prostrate men, puzzled. "Punish Ranma? Why? The boy is getting set to give me something I have always wanted. A great grandchild! Why, Nodoka is setting things up for him and my granddaughter even now. After the child is born, I'll declare Ranma my heir so there is no need to punish Ranma or unite your two schools."

The thoughts going through the minds of the people that knew whom Ranma had married were the same: Makoto is Happosai's granddaughter?

Meanwhile…in the woods and in Juuban a brunette and a blond haired woman both sneezed.

Soun and Genma were floored. This really kicked their plans in the crotch they both slid out of the room quietly to make plans and didn't hear Nabiki when she spoke up. "Wait, I thought Makoto was an orphan?"

"She is," the diminutive pervert said. "Nodoka is arranging for Haruka to be Ranma's mistress. I'm sure the boy will be a fine father to her children."

* * *

Kodachi Kuno smiled as she calmly sipped the tea that nice doctor friend of Ranma- sama's had prescribed for her. It had been a simple matter to gain forgiveness from Ranma's mother. All the woman asked was she see a doctor to find out if she had accidentally poisoned herself while working with her plants.

Kodachi had readily agreed and done so. Turns out she was correct and so the good doctor had given her this tea to make and she was to see another doctor, a psychiatrist, to help heal the wound the death of her mother had made.

She sighed at the fact that Ranma-sama WAS married now and …it wouldn't do for him to cheat on his wife…_though. Auntie did say that if I was getting cured and was well I could be a mistress…hmm better to share in a pie than to get no pie at all. _

Kodachi went back to her tea her smile a bit larger on her face.

* * *

Haruka growled as she walked into the home she shared with the other outer Senshi. It pissed her off to no end. Her mother had the crazy idea she was going to sleep with a guy of all people…didn't that woman realize she liked girls…sure said guy turned into a girl but…and the girl was a hottiebut Michiru most likely would kill her if she did sleep with the girl…unless she invited Michiru…hmmm….Michiru + Ranma-chan + Haruka + a gallon of vanilla ice cream ?

Hotaru looked at her 'father' puzzled as the blond tomboy passed out cold after blood shot from her nose. Adults; she would NEVER figure them out.

* * *

Genma and Soun faced each other in the Dojo. "This is…well. What are we to do Soun?"

Soun nodded. "I know, Genma, if the master finds out we are trying to break up his granddaughter and Ranma he may very well kick us out of the school."

"Our retirement plans will go up in smoke and we need those plans to help with the police and…." Genma sighed heavily.

"Don't remind me .It is only a matter of time before they start looking here again and I doubt if we can bluff them next time. What will we do?"

* * *

Outside a figure listened in carefully and then made it's way back to the house. The men plotting inside the dojo none the wiser to the fact their plans had been overheard.

* * *

Another chapter done royal readers and I appologise for the delay. Soon it will be finished and well what a long strange trip it has been. Things get even weirder next chapter when... Crypto arrives in Nerima, Genma and soun are confronted by the mysterious stranger, Makoto meets Shampoo and...the rest is a secret.

I wish to thank everyone whom has helped me with this fic .I wish to thank you my loyal readers,keep sending in those reviews.

Merry Christmas Typhonis


	10. Chapter 10

Wedded Bliss 10

I do not own Ranma ½, Sailor Moon. or Destroy all Humans.

This fanfiction is written for fun.

* * *

Ranma looked down at the costume and sighed. He was wearing a Zorro outfit only with pirate style boots and ha had a katana not a foil for his weapon. His mother had come up with the idea and some of the Senshi; mainly Setsuna and Makoto had agreed; that if he wanted to fight youma he should wear a disguise.

He had grudgingly agreed but said no to the tuxedo idea. He didn't want to be associated to the penguin-suited idiot in any way shape or form. So his mother had come up with this idea. Setsuna modified it somewhat adding the different styled boots, a modified katana with lessons from Nodoka later and here he was…

The Pirate Prince, helper to Sailor Jupiter. His powers were easy enough: some simple ninja style smoke bombs from his grandfather and a few ropes…added to that the Umi-sen-ken and he could appear and disappear at will. He would rush in, do the deed, and leave without saying on word, save for a merry laugh. It would add to the mystery of him and since it was a costume and he wore a facemask, visual ID would be that much harder since he didn't have the disguise magic the Senshi could rely on.

He checked his gear again when he heard a scream. He quickly started roof hoping into that direction.

* * *

Tuxedo Mask readied himself to throw his rose and give his pep talk to the Senshi. Ranma had no idea how hard this really was and he really had no business telling him how to help the Sailor Scouts. He spotted his opportunity when, from out of nowhere, a katana flashed out and neatly speared one of the youma the girls were fighting.

Masks' mouth fell open as the youma collapsed then disintegrated as a loud merry laugh was heard. A billow of smoke and a guy in a Zorro outfit stepped out of the smoke and picked up the katana. He gave the Sailor Scouts a bright smile and drew the blade up into a salute position before turning and attacking the remaining youma.

The poor beast didn't stand a chance as the dashing figure literally ripped it to shreds with the obviously enchanted weapon. The scouts and Mask, save for a certain Senshi of Time and a pink haired Senshi from the future, merely stood there in awe at what had happened. When the last beast was down the figure turned to face the Senshi, took his hat off, to reveal the mask that covered his head, and gave them a sweeping bow. He stood up and walked over to Sailor Jupiter. He took her hand in his and kissed it, making the girl squeal. He stepped back and bowed once more before smoke billowed and he disappeared.

Mask growled and looked around for him when a voice from behind him spoke up. "I told you to go help them; guess ya can't listen. Oh well, no skin off my nose, Tux boy."

Mask was ready to spin to face the voice—which he recognized—before he was literally kicked in the ass hard enough to launch him from his perch and face first into the pavement.

* * *

Ranma tried avoiding the glares of hate the Senshi threw at him the next day at school. Usagi walked up to him and spoke in a low even voice.

"Why did you do that last night?"

Ranma looked at her, then around, before speaking. "Is this area secure?"

"What?" she asked puzzled.

"Is the area secure?" he asked again "Or would you prefer to have the student body learn about the things we, as a group, do in our off time?"

"That is beside the point Ranma, you had no right to—"

"Keep it down, princess," Ranma said in a low voice. "Look, Tux boy is holding back, I can sense he is at least as strong as Mars. Now then, if by hiding and holding back Makoto gets hurt…I promise you the only way you will be able to have a child by him will be artificial insemination."

Usagi stared at Ranma. "What?"

"You heard me. Tell him the B.S. stops or I will stop it. I am not fooling around. He had better start pulling his weight or else."

* * *

Setsuna smirked from where she sat in her office. The method of delivery may have been lacking but…she knew that Ranma had made his message known.

* * *

Kasumi went to the front door off the Tendo dojo. A polite knocking had come from it and she went to see whom it was. She opened the door and looked outside. She saw an old style Fedora and looked down in puzzlement. There stood a 4-foot tall man wearing a grey business suit. He was bald and had large eyes. He smiled up at her and waved in a friendly manner before speaking.

"Hi neighbor. My name is Crypto and I just finished moving in next door and thought to introduce myself to you and get a feel for the neighborhood."

"Oh my, please come in. You must be the brother of the young man I have heard of from America. One custom we have is to remove our shoes indoors. So please have a seat at the table and I will go fetch you some tea."

* * *

"Tatewaki Kuno, this court herby finds you legally insane and sentences you to spend time in an institution till such time as you are declared legally sane. Also as a personal note your lawyer should have muzzled you earlier."

Tatewaki fumed then screamed. "If I am insane then my sister is as well. Where will she be committed?"

"Nowhere," the judge said, looking through some notes. "Of her own free will she has sought out medical help and is being counseled she also has made reparations to the parties she has offended. Thus there is nothing to do with her."

Kuno screamed out loud as the uniformed officers took him away. His own lawyer just shook his head.

* * *

Genma Saotome awoke slowly and let out a growl. He was in panda form and…yep back in the zoo. He got up and stretched, scratching his side when he spotted a new panda in the enclosure with him. He looked at him…._ he does look familiar_ …when said panda woke up.

He was tall and thin and had a mustache? Said panda looked around sleepily, then his eyes grew large and he searched around desperately before water shot from his eyes like geysers. He held a sign up Woe is me; I am cursed like my friend Genma. I have to escape!

Genma stared then taped the other panda on the shoulder. Soun?

Said panda looked at him and a fresh river of tears started. Genma? What is going on? Where are we and why am I a panda?

I have no idea but we must escape and…look!

Both pandas turned to see Nabiki talking to the zoo owner. She ignored them as she spoke to the man. "So you see both are well trained circus pandas that could escape from here but a bonus is they play Go and Shogi."

"No trouble at all, Miss Tendo. They will not be able to escape from her and the trackers we implanted while they slept will allow us to find them anywhere."

The teen nodded and smiled as the man bowed and walked away. She turned her attention to the two-pandafied men. Then spoke to them after she made sure they were alone. "Daddy, Mr. Saotome, you really should thank me for this. After Kasumi discovered that little secret of yours inside the game table…. let's just say grandfather Happosai was royally pissed off. Especially given it was his money you stole and Auntie was also ready to have your heads for the stunt Genma pulled selling Mako-chan's apartment. Thankfully grandpa was happy to receive the money back and even gave some of it to Kasumi, Akane and myself as a gift. Auntie…well let's just say she was willing to accelerate our plans for dealing with you two."

What do you mean, Nabiki?

Yes daughter, what do you mean?

"Simple really, with help from Cologne and Herb we have turned you both into pandas. The curse is fully locked and I know you cannot escape from here. Nor would you want too, since the Police are very anxious to get their hands on you both given all of the crimes you have committed. As far as Akane knows you both are on an extended training trip and won't be back anytime soon. Though I think the police believe otherwise but have been quiet about it."

What? Release us now girl we are your elders and demand it!

"Sorry Daddy, but you should have thought of that before pulling all of this bullshit off. So enjoy the breeding program and your retirement. Since you are gone Kasumi is head of the clan and a few changes have been made….ah yes, here is our parting gift to you."

They watched as a large Shogi/go table was lowered into the enclosure. Both noted that they could easily play it in their larger forms. Then they noted that Nabiki was walking away, having said her peace. Soun looked at Genma. So what shall we do now, Old friend?

Genma sighed and headed for the board. Simple, we play a few games and plan our escape.

The other panda nodded and joined him. Soon both were finding how hard it was to cheat in their panda forms even though Genma had had some time as a panda so he had a slight advantage. Nabiki smiled as she walked away knowing they wouldn't be leaving their anytime soon.

* * *

Akane Hibiki carried her husband into the Tendo dojo with a sigh. The ladle lady had gotten both of them on the way home. It was just so irritating, almost as bad as the whispers behind her back at certain things that had been happening, the disappearance of Genma and Soun, her own marriage, among other things.

She entered the dojo, calling out "I'm home" when she heard Kasumi say she was in the kitchen and they had a visitor. Walking into the dining room, she stopped cold. There, sitting at the table, was that damn alien. Ryoga's eyes became even more bugged out as her breath started to come faster. It looked up at her and gave her a warm friendly smile.

"Hi neighbor. How are things going?"

* * *

Shampoo was grumbling under her breath. She had to serve tea to her …queen. How degrading. Here she was; the next best warrior in her generation, relegated to serving tea to a foreign bitch that had stolen her husband. How humiliating and what was worse was that her own great grandmother was happily entertaining the foreign bitch…

The fact that the Guardian of Time had accompanied here didn't lessen the humiliation nor did the fact that Minako was here as well. Ranma and Mousse were downstairs in the restaurant talking about something but…. Cologne had forbid her, on penalty of being sent home in a cat carrier, from greeting her husband as custom demanded.

* * *

"Well Saotome…I can't say that this is your fault…I don't have the energy to argue with you," the part time duck said. His head and upper body lay on the table as they talked. "That girl must be part demon…she can go at it for hours and hours…. at this rate…she'll either kill me or get pregnant by the end of the year."

Ranma winced at that thought. Though he had yet to experience sex with Makoto, he did wonder what it would be like. He kept quiet as Mousse spoke up. Also, there was the possibility of children though, he had no idea how to be a good father…his own had been sorely lacking in that area and he didn't wish to repeat histories mistakes.

"Guess you heard about Akane and Ryoga."

"No," Ranma said looking at Mousse.

"Apparently Akane was caught with him in the furo and he was a guy at the time," Mousse let out a tired chuckle as he looked up at his rival. "There was a big stink about it, and then Soun had him marry Akane. Ryoga's family showed up…apparently if they travel in a large enough groups they do not get lost as easily. Though I hear there is a cure for the directional curse now…some bald American discovered it or something…. that's what Kasumi claims… Anyway, they stayed for a while…. then moved on to the Hibiki house, though Ryoga is staying at the dojo. "

"Soun and Genma are missing, training trip Nabiki claims, though that doesn't explain why Cologne was cackling like a hyena the day after they vanished…"

Ranma had tuned Mousse out at that point trying to reconcile his feelings with Akane. However, he was glad she was with Ryoga…they deserved each other. He was about to speak when he heard a loud screaming coming from outside.

He looked and saw Akane, clutching Ryoga in P-chan form, running down the street.

"Get AWAY from me, you damn alien PERVERT! I will not let you use that damn ray to knock me up!"

He watched entranced as she sped past…with nothing following her. Ranma looked at Mousse puzzled when he spoke up.

"Don't ask me. I have no idea what that nut is talking about, no aliens here save for that Cryptosporidium guy. He moved here from some place in New Mexico is all I know. Only thing Alien about him is he is American."

* * *

Makoto smiled at Cologne and then spoke. "Elder I wish to thank you for the honor, but I must insist on staying in Japan. I mean no disrespect, but I feel that if I do return to China with you, I would be dragged into the politics of the Amazon council, as they would use the fact I am back to boost the power of the parties they represent. I will not have that; I must remain separate from that and my services are needed here."

Cologne nodded at what Makoto was saying. "So child, I take it you had help with this decision?"

Makoto blushed at that because she did have help. The blush made Cologne laugh even louder as she patted her on the hand. "I like you child, honest and forthright. All we ask is that you aide us when we need it and if some major decision must be made, we will leave that to you, and you will have to let us know when you are with child yourself."

Cologne couldn't help but laugh again as the blush returned with more force this time.

"So, what is Ranma like in bed, or are you having success undoing what the fiancée brigade did to him during his stay here?"

Oh yes, Makoto may be their queen, but that didn't mean that Cologne couldn't have fun with the poor girl. Ah, to be that young and in love again.

* * *

The police chief nodded as the sergeant made his report. "So, as far as we know, both suspects have fled the country to escape prosecution. Or given how the Saotome clan is, they…removed them to prevent further embarrassment to the family."

The chief nodded. "Very well then. We won't be looking too hard into their dissapearance, unless their bodies show up. I figured Nodoka would do this with help from Soun's daughters…they do have a sense of old family honor so their actions are to be expected. Carry on."

* * *

Makoto was waiting at her home nervously. Nodoka had left earlier, after helping with the final stage of their plan. Months of work were going to cumulate in tonight and she was scared. She had started slowly, bathing and soaking with Ranma so he did get used to her being near him unclothed. Then there was the camping trip and the fact they had snuck a way a time or two to skinny dip, to her that was a major accomplishment. She just hoped things would work out tonight.

* * *

Ranma walked into his home and read a note on the table. Nodoka was going to be with her family for the weekend, visiting with them; and he and Makoto were to behave. He chuckled at the writing when he heard a voice from the kitchen.

"Ranma-chan, I have a treat for you dear."

He looked up and saw Makoto standing there. She was wearing a thick white bikini she slowly took one finger and used it to cut through through a strap of said bikini, over one breast and …licked the stuff off her finger…Ranma noted the cup didn't fall down and that the strap was still in place even though it did look cut, though bare skin was in the location…where the part of the strap she had cut had been and it was looking less and less like cloth now that he noticed … A trail of blood began to slowly make its way down his nose as he looked at her. She nervously and shyly walked over too him. "I think it's time you tried a special desert. Auntie helped me make for you tonight."

* * *

Mariko and her husband looked at Nodoka with concern. The woman had stars in her eyes and was giggling. Tenma, throwing caution to the wind, spoke.

"No-chan what is going on?"

Unable to contain herself anymore Nodoka got up, produced fans and began to dance around the room. "WAHHH, MY son is being manly with his wife!"

The elder Saotomes sweatdroped and looked at each other. "She has to get it from your side of the family. I mean look at your nephew, Noboyuki."

* * *

One more chapter to go , the epilogue. I want to thank my proofreader and all of you who have waited patienly. I have tried to put out a quality product and hope you have enjoyed it. Yes my intention from the first chaprter was to keep them from making love till the very end. I hope you have enjoyed it.

Typhonis


	11. Chapter 11

Wedded Bliss? Epilogue

by Typhonis

I do not own Ranma 1/2, Sailor Moon or Destroy All Humans or any of the other series mentioned in this story.This story is written for fun.

* * *

Three figures and a stroller entered the zoo. The first to be seen was Nodoka Saotome, holding the hand of a little red haired girl wearing the same kimono she was and giggling excitedly about being at the zoo.

"Obaa-chan, lets go see the silly bears!"

Following was Makoto Saotome, pushing the stroller forwards with a dark haired baby inside of it. The Senshi of Jupiter was smiling. Little Sakura was a bundle of energy, and little Hiro here may turn out the same way. She giggled, remembering the events surrounding the first birthday Sakura had. The fact that the entire Amazon council had arrived had been a surprise, though. The next was the old women smiling and playing with the little girl as she lay in her crib, many of them exclaiming what a momentous occasion this was, an heir to the throne. Of course, they also congratulated her on the job she had been doing and didn't begrudge the fact she lived in Japan. On the contrary, the things she, Ranma and Cologne had sent to them were helping to modernize the Amazons so they could better prepare themselves.

Little Hiro had been a surprise as well. She and Ranma had graduated from college when Nodoka insisted the happy couple take a cruise. She told them that between Cologne, her Family and herself little Sakura would be well taken care of. Nine months later, Nodoka had a second grandchild to pamper and spoil.

Ranma was learning the ropes of his grandfather's business and his grandmother's, but tried to make time for his family. Makoto herself had started working in a restaurant, Ucchan's, and was gaining the practical experience she felt she would need to open her own. Shampooâ€¦ that was one of the weird parts of their relationship. She had been fully pardoned by the Amazon council so she could return home with her honor intact, which she had done. Mousse, much to Shampoo's pleasure, remained married to Minako, and their resulting daughter was a handful. Little Shampoo was about as old as Sakura, and the two girls were friends, much like their mothers. Cologne had looked at the child, then Mousse and commented on the boy finally doing something right.

The scouts still patrolled Juuban, and the Pirate Prince was there as well. She knew Nodoka had to have had a hand in it. The media had a field day when the announcement of the two of them being married was released. Senshi fans everywhere had had the wildest speculation about when, where and what was worn at said wedding.

The Tendo girls, well the Hibiki and Saotome girls, were doing well. Nodoka had adopted Kasumi and Nabiki. Kasumi went into medicine, while Nabiki worked for the Saotome family. Akane and her husband, Ryoga, still lived at the Tendo dojo. Their children, mercifully, didn't have Ryoga's curse, so they were able to attend school normally.

Makoto giggled once again as they approached the Panda exhibit. Both very familiar pandas were playing Shogi and cheating, badly at it, much to the crowd's pleasure. She smiled, feeling a familiar Ki coming nearer and turned to face then kiss her husband, Ranma. They both watched as the pandas used their signs to beg money and booze from the crowd. They got what they asked for. Monopoly money and bottles of sake full of water sold by the zoo. Life was good as far as Makoto could tell.

* * *

It is finished. I want to thank all of you who have read and sent in reviews.I want to thank the ones who have proofread and acted as sounding boards for this fic.Without you It wouldnt have been as good as it is. This is one of my first attempts at mainstream fanfiction and I hope I did well. Once more thnk you for taking the time to read it.


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